A Not so Grand ending

She stands alone.

Fenced off from all contact….No more does she hear the footsteps of young children.  No more books will be read…No more lunches, Christmas plays.   No longer will footsteps echo.  No more bouncing balls, no more running. No more sounds of laughter.

She stands alone…..

The end is near.  From every angle the signs of age and neglect can be seen.  The indignity of abuse is evident.  Once regal and grand, she now show the signs of old age.  A sad ending to something as old as she. 

She began her life in 1917.  She has existed alone since 2004.  People came close, they walked their dogs on the lawn, and children played on the swings….but she could only watch.  She even has her own Facebook page where people leave their comments, and their memories.  But she can not hear them.

The end is near.

Now you may think I have been talking about an elderly lady.  I wanted it to sound that way.  “She” is North School and this is what she once looked like.

…a grand old building that has seen many people pass through her doors. She was built in 1917 as a replacement for the previous North school.  She is the third North school built on this site.

Some have come as very young students on their very first day of school and many others have spent their entire elementary years there.

Several of my grand-children spent time there as students. I remember attending my grandson’s Kindergarten Halloween parade, another grandson’s Christmas Program, and many a book Fair and Parents days….I miss those days now but they will always be with me as precious memories.

She will no longer exist soon as she has been scheduled for Demolition.  The date had been set for December 10th, but so far she is still standing…although she has changed quite a bit…

Soon there will be a Fourth North School on this site.

In all, there are 7 Elementary schools in our community; North, (vacant since 2004), South, East, West, Medill, Tarhe and Sanderson.  All are scheduled for replacement…all of these school will be replaced one at a time….Many will be on the same sites, but others will move to new sites.

It’s a sad thing to think that most of these building are under 100 years old and in such disrepair that they are being condemned… Yet in some countries, their buildings are centuries old and still in use.  It doesn’t say much for how we treat our elderly….whether it be buildings or humans.

Rest in Peace , dear lady…..You have served your community well, and she is the one who let you down.

Dear God

 

Dear God:

It's me... the Dog!

Is it on purpose that Our
Names are spelled the same, only in reverse?

Why do humans smell the flowers,
but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

 

When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch?

Or will it be the same old story?

Why are there cars named after
the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang,
the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE
named for a Dog? How often do you
see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car
ride! Would it be so hard to rename
the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

If a Dog barks his head off
in the forest and no human hears him,
is he still a bad Dog?

We Dogs can understand human
verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee
flight paths. What do humans understand?

More meatballs,
less spaghetti, please.

Are there mailmen in Heaven?
If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Here is a list of
just some of the things I must remember
to be a good Dog:

1. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats it or after he throws up it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's
underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's
crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand
straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside,
and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living
room, and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy',
so when I play with him and he makes that noise,
it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God:

When I get to Heaven,
May I have my testicles back?

At the Fair

The sun has set on the 2012 Fairfield County Fair.

The Ribbons and Trophies have all been handed out….The Market animals have all been sold and the money they brought has been given to those who raised the animals.

The rides have all been folded up, taken apart and moved on to other parts unknown.

The venders have all packed their trailers and gone home.

No longer does the smell of Fried Dough, Elephant Ears, Funnel Cakes or fair food linger in the air drawing you in….

But the memories linger on……

More shots later………….

Hugs and Love to All!!

As Long as I live, I will never forget…..

The photos have all been stored away….There are none sitting out to remind me of those I miss so much.

But the memories won’t go away.

There’s a big hole in my heart where they used to be.  It aches every day. Only they can fill it. And make the ache go away…..but every day without them, it hurts more…..

Sometimes, late at night, while I’m watching T.V. or playing on the computer they creep in….and my eyes start to “leak”….

I wonder if they miss me as much as I miss them.

They don’t call, or write, or text….so I don’t know how often they think of me. Or if they ever think about me.

Sometimes the sadness overtakes me and no matter what I do I can’t find any happiness to cheer me up.

I will never forget the days they were all born.  The birthdays, the trips, the school events…..the sporting events….The days we spent together laughing and playing.

The times we went canoeing, or horseback riding…..the trips to the beach…or the zoo…..the vacations we spent together….the fairs and the fireworks…..

The weekends we spent just watching movies together….

Now already, I have missed all of their birthdays….not just once, but twice.  I have missed 2 graduations, missed holidays and more will be coming up soon.  I won’t be there to see them open presents.

I can only try to dream of seeing them.

Every day  brings more tears and more lost moments.

I will never forget them……

It is said you must learn to forgive and forget.  That unless you forget, you can not truly forgive.

I will never forgive those who have come between us.

I try to forget…..but they are as much a part of me as the blood that runs through my veins, and the tears that run down my cheeks.

I will never forget…….

And I hope someday they will find a way back to me…..and that every day they remember how much I love them and miss them.

 

Broke…..but Excited!

I can’t wait until Monday…..

I have paid off most of my new camera and will finish paying it off on the first…..Just in time to catch the last few regular season football games and it time for the County Fair in 2 weeks.

This is the Canon T3i. It is an 18mm camera (up from the 14mm I currently shoot with).  It has an ISO level to 6400 expandable to 12800, does HD video and shoots 3.7 frames per second.  Best thing is the lenses I have now will fit it, as will the memory cards.

It has left me almost broke, but it’s something worthwhile that I really want. Later I’ll send my other camera in for repairs.

Next up, I’m going to order some thing little by little to add to my photography equipment…I just ordered 2 additional batteries for the camera from Amazon and will order other things, like Macro lenses and extension tubes, maybe a battery pack grip, etc.  I will need another camera bag, maybe I’ll go for the backpack type, or the roll around where I can include both cameras and my laptop….I’ll have to check out what’s available.  I’ll need a lens hood, filters, a “Hot Shoe” flash, and a light diffuser; most of what I can get at Wal-Mart or a local photo store.

By the time I start school in January, I should have most of what  I need. But that’s another story.  I was going to take my application down to the college today to enroll, but due to the state of my checking account now, I’ll have to wait until next pay day.  No big rush as I have to wait until October 5th for my 6 months at Wal-Mart to be eligible for their Scholarship program, and until November 1st to actually apply for the scholarship. Plenty of time before the November 29th orientation day.

So in the meantime, I’m going to enjoy using my new camera and developing a “portfolio” if you will….Fall is here, there are fairs, the Pumpkin Festival in Circleville.  Before long, winter will be here with it’s frosty coverings.

I love the fair! The food, the animals, the tractor pulls and demolition derby. And this year, I paid the extra money and bought a track side seat to the concert!

THE OAK RIDGE BOYS!!!!

I can’t wait. I’ve seen these guys in concert before but it’s been over 35 years.  I’m anxious to hear what they play and sing.

I’m trying everything I can to keep from letting the depression of the holidays take over.  I’m sure it’s going to be a long hard battle.  I can not let myself think about the loss of my grandchildren in my life…maybe someday things will change, but for now I shed daily tears over the lack of contact with them….

But for no I struggle on….waiting for the good times and living day to day..

Hugs and Love to all!

I’m so Lost………….

I don’t know what to do anymore…….

Up until May of 2010, I had everything I ever wanted.  Four children who talked to me, 7 grandchildren who talked to me and this was my entire life…..

Now 2 of my children no longer talk to me and I go weeks without hearing from my grandchildren.  The only time I do hear from them is payday when they want money for something.

I haven’t seen photos of any of my grandchildren except for ones posted on Facebook.

I’m lost. 

I don’t get anything from any of them…..no calls, no messages, no photos, no cards or letters……

What do I do?

All I do anymore is cry, or try to keep from crying.

I was running errands, shopping and such, for the elderly lady across the street.  I would cut her grass and she’d pay me for that and give me money for doing her shopping or picking up pizza for her.  I didn’t do it for the money or expect anything in return….I enjoyed talking to her daily.  Monday she went to the doctors and was admitted to the hospital, and then transferred to a nursing home.  Another neighbor has told me that she may have to sell her home and live in the nursing home for the rest of her life, as she may no longer be able to live alone…So that outlet is also now gone.

I throw myself into work. I just go day to day….hoping something changes for the better….

Nothing has.

I used to be able to take my camera to a football game or a festival and take photos. This would take my mind off my family.  For a few hours I wouldn’t think about how lonely I am.

Now my camera has even let me down. It quit recognizing memory cards.  The only fix is to send it back to the manufacturer, 500 miles away, at an estimated cost of $205 to fix it….plus the cost of wrapping, shipping and insuring it…Or to buy a new camera. I have put one on lay-away…and hope to get it out by October 1st.

I checked into going to college.  I have never been to an actual college. I went to a trade/technical school for Automotive Mechanics in 1988…This is a local college my daughter went to.  It’s a 2 year Associates Degree in Arts and Science for Photography….My main concern was paying for college.  It’s $6500 a year.  So today I applied for financial aid just to see what I could get…..and it turns out, I can get a $9500 loan (with a 10 year pay-off) and a $3900 grant I wouldn’t have to pay back.  My employer has a scholarship program that if I apply for and get would pay up to $4,000 a year.

I still have to apply for college, and in October I can apply for the scholarship.  School would start in January.

Am I asking too much from the people I love, and thought loved me??  A phone call, a photo or a letter? is that really too much to ask for?

Why must I cry myself to sleep wondering if I will ever hear their voice, see their face, or share time with them again?

Or should I just try to forget?

Forget I had 2 older children….

Forget I had 7 grandchildren…..

Forget anyone ever loved me and I ever loved anyone else…..

I’m Lost…..

What do I do?

I’m so tired of crying….

Hugs and Love to all

Did someone say Football?

Last Monday was the first day of youth football. The team is smaller this year….only 24 players considering we usually have 30+ every other year…..and smaller in that we have a younger team with our 9 newly drafted players.

On Tuesday, the head coach asked me if I was okay with being the “Team Grandma”….(instead of the Team Mom)…..which I gladly excepted.  I was introduced to the parents that way at the Wednesday parent Meeting….

I went home and set up 2 things; a drink/snack list and a Team Brochure….with the names of the players and the coaches….

On Thursday, the players got their helmets and pads….and chose their numbers….I still need to get the numbers for 3 players who weren’t there on Thursday…..

The boys found out that if they wore their Jerseys to the Semi Pro League game on Saturday the 11th, they would be on the sidelines with them… Now I have to work at 6 that day, but you can bet I will be there for at least an hour and a half…..and hope my car gets me to work on time without breaking down….It has developed a sever knock that sounds like an axle I going bad.

The Semi-Pro team practices at our park on Mondays and Thursdays, so I watched them for over an hour…..

And Oh yeah, I took pictures……

Hugs and Love to All!

 

next you’ll be seeing more of the youth team….and maybe even some more of the “Lancaster Sabers”