Every Little Bit Helps

Earlier this year, my husband got bad news….Actually, I’m surprised it took so long as I’ve been expecting something like this….No he’s not sick….He didn’t get fired….None of his relatives died….The IRS caught up with him.

You see, I started filing taxes separately over 15 years ago.  I was tired of paying taxes all year long and everything I paid in going to pay what he owes because his employers and the Government (through his retirement) weren’t taking enough out of his check.  I had tried to explain to him over and over that he needed to claim 0 deductions on his W-2’s so they would take out more money….He stubbornly decided he wanted more money every pay day….

As a rule, I always had extra taken out of my checks.  I wouldn’t miss $10 a pay day if it meant I’d get a bigger check in the spring…

We moved to Ohio in 2002….and my husband has not filed his taxes since….So the government has decided he owes over $14,000 in federal taxes.  (He owes probably close to that in State, local and school taxes; too!) 

Now my husband takes all his mail , unopened, and piles it on a table beside the couch….I’m not allowed to open it or know anything about his income or bank account….But after 32 years, I think I am entitled to know….So one day I opened every piece of mail of his I could find…..and there it was; a letter from Cleveland with a garnishment applied by the Federal IRS for $252 per month beginning in March!

Well…..that’s a big bite out of our monthly income!  I also found out later that the state of Ohio has been garnishing his Target pay check….(I don’t know how much they get).

After talking to several knowledgeable people, I called the IRS.

Of course they wouldn’t speak to me because I wasn’t the “Taxpayer” but I put my husband on speaker phone so I could help him with things he didn’t know…..We were transferred to 4 different people before someone finally gave us what we needed…..They are sending us 6 years of tax papers (everything we need to file) for “him”  to fill out and return….Now you know who will be doing the “filling out”…..ME!

So here sometime in this next week, I will be getting writers cramp…..He also has to fill out a promissory note to pay anything back he does owe….If he is due refunds, they will probably apply to what he owes….but the good thing is they will stop the garnishment….at least on the Federal side….

Each year has to go in a separate envelope, and then all 6 can go in a larger envelope….and hopefully all, or at least some of our money woes will be over.

When I heard we were going to lose so much money each month, I made adjustments….I went down and changed my cell phone contract to a cheaper rate….I moved everything from a downstairs storage unit into a smaller upstairs unit for half the price, and thus saved about $75 a month.

This past week, Barbara, the 81 year old neighbor lady I run errands for asked if I would like to cut her grass for her this year.  She pays $17 a week…..there’s another $68 a month….

And on Tuesday, another neighbor, Arlene asked if I would take care of her 2 cats while she goes to visit family in Arizona for 2 weeks…..She paid me $40….I have to go over twice a day to give them their “treat”, (which includes medication for one of the cats) make sure they have dry food and water, and clean out their litter box….

Now in case you weren’t following along…..I made up $183 of the $252 we lost on the first…..

What has my husband done to help? You may ask…..

NOTHING!!! 

He still maintains his selfish ways….eating more than his fair share of food and not worrying about whether or not anyone else has anything to eat or not.  For instances, I went to  the cheapest store in town and using my “kitty” fund, bought bread, some of those packages of ham that cost 49₵, cheese, margarine, etc….I could make grilled ham and cheese sandwiches for the entire family…..He waited until after he had already eaten dinner, and then made 3 sandwiches for himself using up an entire package of the ham in less than an hour!!!  I had been to church that evening and paid $2 for dinner there, so I didn’t even eat any of what I had fixed at home for the 3 of them….and he made sure there were no leftovers!

 

“Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill and the strength to resist the desire to choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately needs it.”

P.S.….. I thought you’d enjoy these pics of the kitties getting a drink of water…..

Hugs and Love to All!

 

Hey Look! I finally wrote another Blog!!!

Do you Believe?

Some people believe in Reincarnation….

They believe that they have had past lives and that you continue to be reincarnated until you “get it right”.

I’m not so sure about that…..But I would like to believe there has to be something better than this.

If I were to live another life, there are many things I would like to change.  First of all, maybe I could be born an only child of a prominent family…..Maybe born as a boy….

I’d grow up doing things I couldn’t do in this life.  Learn to play musical instruments, play team sports, go on vacations around the world or even just in my own country…. have a family that always did things together and the words “I Love You” were spoke every day.

I’d be popular.  I’d have lots of friends who wanted to be around me. I’d go to the movies and amusement parks with them.  I’d go to dances and proms.

I’d graduate with my class and go to college. 

I’d own my own successful business, own my own home and own a new car.

I’d be single; and happy.

I’ve learned that being a part of a big family isn’t always a good thing.  It isn’t always a happy life but more often than not, it’s a sacrifice.  If I wanted to do anything growing up, I had to work to pay for it.  Although it taught me a valuable lesson; “Nothing in life is free”, it left a lot to be desired.  This left little time for friends.  My clothes were bought from the discount shelves; very rarely in style….my cars were always used clunkers.

There wasn’t money for music lessons, vacations, college……I often felt like I was missing out on something.

Then I got married and had children of my own…..and the circle continued…..no money, no friends, used cars, no real “home” of my own….just a long line of places I either owned for a short time or rented…..and no love…..

Now I’m old…..The children are grown with children of their own and once again I am alone….Oh, I have a husband….but no love….

I don’t know who said “life is no bed of roses” must have been a lot like me.  First of all a bed of roses is painful…all those thorns….but the smell is sweet and leaves you longing for something.  Something I don’t know if I will ever have or experience…But it has to be better than feeling this alone and unloved.

If I do have another life coming; I hope it is a happier one.

Hugs and Love to all!!!

So Much for That Idea!

For my 55th Birthday last year, Barbara, the 80 year old lady I run errands for paid for my yearly membership to the local Senior Center….(You have to be 55 to join.)

I have been attending Photography Club meetings there and had seen some of the things they offered there; heated pool, fitness center, clubs and classes of all sorts, Waffle Breakfast every Thursday…..I thought it would be something to do to get me out of the house.

Shortly after she paid, I received my membership tag, a monthly calendar and a brochure of all  the activities offered there.  They have ballroom dancing classes, Zumba, trips, etc.

One of the things they offered was a club called “Quilt Charms”….for quilters.  I decided to attend one of their meetings and just see what was going on.  A lady I had met at the  Knitting class at the church, Mariam, said she goes to the quilt club and was a member so I would know at least 1 person there.

The first meeting, I was introduced, given a pack of information and met several of the ladies, I was told to try the club for a few meetings before I paid the $15 a year membership dues.  They are working on a spring Quilt show in May and their project is what is called a “split 9 patch”.  You sew your chosen fabrics into a 9 patch block

and then split that 9 patch into 4 blocks by cutting horizontally and vertically through the middle….then you simply turn the squares to create new patterns….

 

Now first I should say that I have quilted before…

.so this is nothing new for me.  I just thought it would be something to keep me busy and make new friends.

I went home after the first meeting and spent hours digging through boxes in my basement to locate my quilt rulers, rotary cutters, cutting boards, and fabric…Some of which is obviously stored in my storage shed at “U-Haul.” 

The next meeting I went to, I even went early to get the waffle breakfast.  I  talked to a group of ladies who were sitting together crocheting and knitting, and to the group of men in the whittling “class”.  The ladies I talked to in the quilt club were sewing and trying to decide how they wanted to put their split 9 patches together on the tables set out large enough to spread an entire quilt on.

I had just about decided this where where I should spend my Thursdays morning.  I went home, found some fabric big enough to make something and set about cutting and sewing…

At my third meeting, I got the shock of my life!  I was told if I didn’t pay the dues that day, I could not be in the club!  I tried to explain what had been told to me the first meeting about “waiting” to join and the fact that being unemployed, I would not be able to pay until my husband gets paid next week….Didn’t matter!  Pay up or else!

So I left the meeting after only about 10 minutes in tears.  I was more furious and hurt than anything else.  I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach.  I felt like I was told I wasn’t good enough to be a part of anything.

The ladies had all seamed so nice at the previous meetings.  And I felt like I was making new friends.

But I didn’t let that discourage me.  I went home and quickly jotted off an e-mail to the staff at the Senior Center and let them know how disappointed I was in this club.

It won’t stop me from quilting.  I am determined now to make the best quilt I can and enter it in the Fair this year….Hopefully to win a ribbon and show these “Old Cronies” that I may not be good enough for their club; but I can quilt and it is their loss.

I’ve decided to limit my classes to the Crochet/Knit class at the church where I know I am welcomed, and to the photography club….

I’m waiting to hear about the results of my e-mail as the director of the Senior Center did write back and say she was also disappointed in how it was handled and will make “general”  inquiry into this problem.

Hugs and Love to all!!!

 

 

Dang Computer!!!

Okay….so today I got up ready to get on the computer and check all my farmville and Facebook games…Boy did I get a surprise!  When I logged on to the computer, I got the black screen….multiple error messages and none of my things came up!

My middle son, Jeremiah the genius, went on to the computer and was able to set an account up for me to use.  When he did, it asked if we wanted to keep all the old files (photos, documents, music, etc) and we checked the yes button…..only where did it save them??  I will have to get him to come down

I never wrote down all my passwords and favorite pages in my book like I used to do….You know the pages I visit most, my blog pages, etc….so now I am trying to recover some of them by pick and peck…..You know, enter an e-mail address, the password I think works and wait for a page to open….If it doesn’t, I try again….Boy am I in trouble!

I am hoping to get everything straightened out  today but I am getting frustrated….I even had to re-set my live writer! 

luckily, I remember my e-mail addresses!

now I will spend days going to various sites trying to remember which password I used and perhaps changing all my passwords to 1 single one that maybe I wont forget!

I really want my own computer…..My youngest son brought home a Dell tower and parts to build me one……A Month Ago!!  It sits in his room where he sat it when he brought it in….I haven’t seen any progress in making “My” computer since.

I wish I could win just enough money on the lottery to get the things I want….$5,000 should do it….

Oh Yeah, I have to buy a ticket…..Figures!!!

Happy New Year!!

Thank goodness 2011 is now a thing of the past!  There are many things that happened last year that I would just as soon forget….The main one is my grandchildren moving away…but it’s hard to forget that when I don’t get to see or hear from them as often as I would like now.
I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions.  One reason is some things I would like to change, I can’t….and the things that I need to change I know won’t happen….So why make “promises” I can’t keep. 
The thing I will say is I hope to try to keep as busy as I can this year to try to make myself happy.  I joined a Senior Center (Yes, I finally reached the “golden Age” of 55 so I am eligible for this!), I am joining the Genealogy Society to continue my research, and I joined the Photography Club.  This year I do plan on focusing more on trying to be happy and not dwelling on the depression that has taken over since the Grandchildren moved away….
I really am lost without them…but they seem to feel differently about me as I rarely hear anything from them…My oldest grandson has not contacted me in any way, shape, or form (telephone, postal mail, e-mail, facebook or text message) since October….Christmas, only 1 of the 7 grandchildren messaged me and I did text the youngest as I saw he was on-line when I was.  On my Birthday, only my youngest grand-daughter messaged me…NO cards, no presents…..not one of my family even wished me greetings….not even my children or husband.  (except for my middle son who lives with me)
When I get depressed, I vow to get my fat butt up from the computer, grab the camera or my genealogy notes …. and get out of the house.  I’ll take photos, of whatever happens to catch my eye….I’ll go to those cemeteries I have planned on roving around….I’ll involve myself with group activities when I can and try to not let my husband’s family bring me down….I’ll take my dogs for long walks in the parks and visit places I have never seen within driving range.
I would say I will “Save money for a Rainy Day”, but every time I plan to do this, something always comes up.. The car breaks down, an unexpected bill rolls in….Last year it “rained” a lot!
The good news is, my son brought home a computer tower to “build” me a computer of my own…..I may have to add a few things IF he ever gets his friend to set it up for me….The hard drive has to be wiped and reloaded with Windows XP, I may need to buy a CD/DVD burner…..and depending on the RAM I may need to add extra memory or a secondary hard drive…(I’m not holding my breath waiting).  When my older brother used to build his own computers, he always had it set up so downloads would go to one hard-drive, and the other held his program files….This way, If something damaging was downloaded, it would only damage the one hard drive and not crash the whole computer.  I have 2 small external hard drives that I store photos on….I need to get a bigger one as the more I take photos, the less room I have to back them up.  I do back them up on CD, and I have multiple flash drives I can use in a pinch….Heaven forbid I lose any of my photos!!
I will clean out my life of people who have no time for me…..
I hope next week to be able to go renew my Military Dependents ID….then find a local doctor and have a yearly physical.  The only time I have been seen by doctors in the past 8 years is when I happened to go to the ER for some reason.  Four years ago, it was the house fire and a torn cartilage in my knee…Three years ago it was the Hives caused by a coffee someone had given me and my knee again for a shot of cortisone….and last year, it was when my husband left a knife laying on a ladder that fell off and stabbed me in the ankle….As a general rule, I may get a runny nose from allergies or a cold…..which I have learned to treat with “over the counter” medications, but I am healthy.  Perhaps a little “Too” healthy…(my pants seem to “shrink” only around the waist)
I will continue to help others….whether it be taking my mother-in-law to doctors appointments or errands, shopping for the elderly lady across the street or taking photos of children…..
I really plan on just being me….not the “new” me…..just the same old me.
When July comes, I will be busy with football again…for as long as they will have me.
There are several things I will buy for myself if I have to hold yard sales to do it….things for my camera, things for my own pleasure….maybe a photo editing program for my computer….(if it ever gets finished)….maybe attend a few of the basket making classes and learn to make baskets….
But as far as making a resolution to do these things goes……I won’t go that far….I don’t want to disappoint myself or others….
I will promise to just be ME!
Hugs and Love to all!!


 

If I were a Rich man……

Remember that song from “Fiddler on the Roof”? 

Okay so I’m not a man….and definitely not rich….but I often think about it.

Every day I see people and stories that make my heart ache and I think to myself  “If I just had something to give….” 

Why do people do such things to each other?  A family who was homeless last year, living in their own home having their first Christmas when someone breaks in a few days before and steals all the presents for the young children….They are sad, but they are grateful for at least having a home this year…..

A wife and mother, widowed too early just before the holidays….left to pick up the pieces with an old home in need of many repairs and a stack of unpaid hospital and funeral bills.

Children….they are the worst…..Sick with cancer and fighting for their lives…..

or starving….

or living in a homeless shelter or tent…..

Or families too poor to have their children’s cleft lip or pallet repaired…

Veterans who fought for our country living on the streets….begging for change and sleeping in the snow in make shift shelters….

Mothers….standing on the street corners bundled in layers of clothing and braving the cold begging for change to feed their families…..

The other day, I went to the store with the $10 my mother had sent me for my birthday to buy something for dinner…As I was pulling out of the parking lot I saw her….Thin, small, wrapped up in layers of coats, scarves and gloves….shivering to stay warm against the cold winds and glooming skies with a sign that simply read “Homeless mother trying to feed my children….Please help”….All I had left was 50 cents…..but I rolled down my window and called her over……”Thank you! God Bless you!” she said….and I thought about it again…. “If I were a rich man…..”  Now I know 50 cents isn’t a lot, but I wondered…maybe a can of beans or some fruit….wouldn’t be much but I know she was grateful for the donation….

And today I read in our paper of the widow of our beloved Phil….the coach who gave so much to the football teams for over 20 years….Who was a pastor and in the choir of his church….who counseled many….who past out hugs like they were raindrops…..who would sit and talk with you about anything…..who will be greatly missed by hundreds if not thousands of people…..How the church is helping Beth with fixing the leaking roof of her home…and needs help with other repairs….How they have set up a memorial fund in her name at the bank to help her through these hard times….

I don’t have anything to give but my time….I live on so little as it is….But IF I were a rich man…. I would give freely of what I did have to help all these others whenever I could….

Dear Lord,

I pray that someday,

I will be able to return the blessings you have

given me to others less fortunate.

Amen

 

 

Hugs and Love to all!

One Holiday down….

Christmas is over….Thank goodness….One less miserable day in the year for me.

I had received a text before going to dinner from the middle grandson in Florida. He was happy to tell me that he received a laptop computer and a new I-Pod from his Dad for Christmas and now he could test me more often…He thought it was also my birthday so his message had started out “Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday”.  But I told him my birthday is this Friday…but his grandfather’s birthday is Christmas.  I noticed his brother must have been on the home computer at the time and had also talked to him via text message..But he didn’t reply more than a few words.

When I first arrived to a house already half full of people (at 11 a.m.), I joined the “Potato Brigade”; peeling the 2 bags of potatoes for mashed potatoes.

I spent too many hours at a family members house sitting on the floor being ignored as usual.  At least 2 people talked to me for a few minutes and I did find “something” to do….

The big dog sitting in front of me is Destiny Dawn…when she wasn’t getting petted by someone, she was trying to get someone to play ball with her.  The other dog in the photo is Copper.  She would chase Destiny and grab her legs. Destiny would bring the tennis ball to you and chase it for hours. My brother-in-law took these photos with his cell phone…

One of the girls who talked to me (Summer, sitting on the floor with me) has 3 small children. The Youngest is an rolly poley 8 month old named Isaac…who weighs in at 21 pounds. He had the biggest grins and is a very happy baby…He loves everyone and loves to be held.  When the other adults decided to spend 6 hours playing a card game, Isaac, my son and I entertained ourselves…

Between playing fetch and holding and playing with Isaac, I also put him to sleep; while the other adults played a marathon card game of “Phase 10” (until almost 8:30 p.m.)…He had a long day and it’s hard to nap with 40+ people in 2 rooms all talking.

The other girl who talked to me was my niece. 

Children were fed first and scattered around the floor to eat. Then the younger adults went through and finally us older folks….By the time I got to the food, the turkey was looking like a pigeon, almost gone, there were a few mash potatoes, you had to really scrape the bottom and sides of the stuffing bowls put pies were aplenty. Obviously, only a few people gave their R.S.V.P. and this big a crowd was not expected…(Later I learned that I was the only one to let them know I would be bringing 3 people)….

I was so “welcomed” that I went on a 45 minute walk as I was feeling a little blue and needed time alone to cry…. and no one even noticed I was gone….Later my son and I also went on a shorter walk and only 1 person who happened to be outside knew we were gone….My Husband, tired of sitting alone, walked home around 3:30…he told me he was leaving and going home.. But no one missed him until after 7!  His own mother didn’t know he was gone until 8:30….and it was his birthday!

When I returned home, I checked Facebook to see if any of the remaining 5 grandchildren had even thought to wish me Merry Christmas…but none of the others  had thought of me.  There were plenty of “Mass Mailing” wishes from my facebook friends…and I appreciate them but it’s not the same as your family forgetting you even exist.

Now if I can just get through my birthday and the new year, I won’t have to put up with any more nonsense until at least the summer!

Hugs and Love to all!