This is a test

This is a testThis is only a test….

I just bought a new Acer Laptop and I am trying to set up all my accounts, programs, photos, documents and e-mail accounts….

I hope this works…..

I Think I have got it

It’s been so long since I published a new blog and there is so much I can think of to write about….

I could write that I love my new job….I love the people I work for and with, I love the hours I’m getting and most of all I love finally being able to have my own money to spend on things I want.

I could write how excited I am that football starts next Monday.  All year long I wait the arrival  of the Conditioning; because that means practices and games are just around the corner and I will have a reason to push back from the computer and go outside with my camera.  This year, by volunteering a mere 25 hours a season, I can get a $250 contribution to the team from my employer.

I could write about the severe thunderstorm that came through here June 29th and knocked out everyone’s power for up to 0 days.   Mine was only out for 7, but you can’t imagine what a techie like me missed without power….the computer, Facebook, my on-line friends and just being able to upload the photos I took from my camera to the computer.

I will write abut all those things soon, I promise.  But another subject has been weighing on my mind.

Over 2 years ago, my daughter stopped talking to me.  At  first I could see and talk to my grandchildren, but things got worse a few months later and the only ones I could see were the older 2….Then came the revolution….The middle grandson threw a royal fit because he didn’t believe it was fair that the older 2 could see and talk to me and he couldn’t…..He feels as I do…an disagreement between me and my daughter should not effect the relationship between me and the grandchildren.

Eventually, right before they moved to Florida, I was able to have all the grandchildren come and spend time with me….

Then they moved away.

I can’t tell you how many times I have cried since then.  I truly miss them so much.

My daughter’s birthday is July 27th.  Last year I made a special effort to go out, buy her a card, express my feelings for her and even sent text messages to her phone along with sending the card…My hope was that she would at least acknowledge them…..My grandson sent me messages reminding me of her birthday  and I told him what I had done.  I even sent a second message so he could read it and know I was trying to mend things…

Nothing worked.

This year, I am torn between sending her a card and just giving up on the relationship we once had.  She has developed a relationship with the father who was never there her whole life….never paid a dime of child support, never changed her diaper as a baby , wiped a tear or kissed a “boo-boo”…..And for the longest time didn’t even know her birthday or who her mother was!!!  He never knew the grandchildren’s birthdays, never sent a card or a present, never attended a game , practice or school event…..or graduation.

I’m starting to think all my effort to mend things isn’t doing any good and I have been slow taking her hint….She doesn’t need me or want me in her life….So should I just give up and go on with my life without my only daughter??

The problem is,what will my grandchildren think of me if I do give up//….Already they have had less and less contact with me….I know they are growing so fast and have lives of their own…They are busy with work and school and sports….Have they also outgrown me??  Am I now only a source of money for all the things they want but my daughter can’t afford??

I need advice….Should I send the card as I always have with a note saying I miss you can’t we still be friends?  or should I just give up and give her time to miss me and hope one day she will???

I don’t know…..

Hugs and Love to all!!!

I’m Tired…..

I’m tired of being the one everyone else depends on….

To do all the work

To do all the photographs

To go to when they need something

To being the “Bank of Mom” (or grandma whichever the case may be)

To do all the shopping or run all the errands

To be the “Taxi” driver

To be the one no thinks about to call or invite out

When will it be MY time??

When will I be the one that everyone wants around just to be around?  To invite out to a dinner or movie?  To ask if there is something they can do for me???  To get something back for all the times I have helped others when they needed it? 

Without thinking twice, I have been the one to offer to help.  I give money out like it was the air we breathe…free and never ending.

I am there with the camera to take all the photos….but I am never in any of them….

I have heard “I will pay you back” so many times….but never received it….yet I still give…

I have taken people to doctor’s appointments, friend’s homes, the store and the hospital…..but if I needed to go somewhere and didn’t have a way, I had to walk.

And I am the one always at home, alone…..No one to talk to….No one to comfort me when I cry for no reason…..No one to tell me I am important to them…..

The only time I hear words of encouragement are from people I have only met through WLS or Facebook….most of them I have never met in person, only through on-line chats….And yet, these are the people who tell me how much I am valued…..

I am Tired……..Tired of thinking that the only way I will be remembered is On-line…..

Hugs and Love to all my Dear friends….

the ones who always think of me…..

The ones who read this

Graduation and car shows….

June 3rd…..

Summer is just around the corner.  The last days of school are here…..County and local fairs are a weekly occurrence now.  Work is keeping me busy with at least 30 hours a week now…and sometimes even more…..

Tomorrow, I will have 30 days remaining of my 90 trial at Wal*Mart and I haven’t had a single problem arise yet….I like my job and the people I work with….I have seen several people be walked out including one that started the same day I did….She didn’t make it 30 days!

I have missed a few things I wanted to go to; The McArthur Wild Turkey Festival, The Oak Hill Festival of Flags, The New Straitsville Moonshine Festival, and the Lancaster Memorial Day Parade…I may be able to attend one day of the Logan Washboard Festival….and if I can find it, I may make it to the Stuebenville Ohio Frontier Days…..

Next Sunday, I have a special trip coming up….The photo club is going on a private tour of the “Wilds” in Zanesville….a privately run open setting of wild animals roaming free….That should be fun…Don’t worry….”Photography Club” means camera will be in tow and all batteries will be charged with extra memory cards in tow…..

I missed my grand-daughter’s graduation in Florida….Not because I wanted to but because she found out at the last minute that they were going to et her graduate; and of course, I was working….That and I really can’t afford any trips right now….never mind one over 855 miles away with gas at almost $4 a gallon….But I have started an account to save for one at a later date.  Mean while, she sent me a photo of her first tattoo. (Before you say anything, I have one, too.) To both of us, they have our own meanings….

Her Tattoo is a symbol of her indecision and suspension between two lives.

Her graduation was bittersweet for her….First, she was graduating without her friends….She moved at the end of her Junior year, starting her Senior year among strangers.  She lived and went to school here for 8 years.  Instead of graduating in Blue with the rest of her close friends, she graduated in Green….in the evening of May 30th…Her friends graduated today at 2 p.m…..It rained at her graduation held outside; the sun shined and a gentle, sometimes strong wind prevailed today for Lancaster’s graduation….

Since I knew many of her class mates here, I decided to attend for her and take photos of some of her friends.

Stephanie (in the back ground) Victoria (also in background) Arianna (with sunglasses) and Shannon, a National Honors Society graduate with Honors

After the caps were thrown into the air, 

the bedlam of finding individuals began….I could only find Arianna who was very willing to stand for an additional photo for her “bestie” who couldn’t be there.

After graduation, I came home and uploaded the photos and  then went to the Fairgrounds with my middle son for a Custom Car Show….

the show was almost over and some cars had already left, but I was still able to get many photos of some nice rides….I hope you enjoy them…..

My son checking out the Fire truck Simon!!!! Is this your car????

Hugs and love to all!

Ouchy!

I need a keeper.

It started out as a simple task…..Raise the storm window, lower the screen to get more air flow into a stuffy, very warm living room.

I ended up in a lot of pain, a few choice words , blood everywhere and a mad dash to find bandages.

The other day on my day off I was sitting at the computer with sweat running down me and decided to open the windows….The first one was easy.  It wasn’t until I got to the second one that I decided maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to try it on my own….

Too late!

 

You never know how much you use a finger until you can’t use it…..

“No I’m not trying to give you the finger!  I’m showing you my boo, boo!”

(dang it’s hard to type and play my games like this….not to mention housework…..)

Owwwww! @#$% &*(!@!!! Banged it again!!!!

 

Hugs and love to all!!

friggin fracken cheese and crackers!!!!!

What A Week I’ve had!

Is it over yet???

This has been (excuse my language) one Hell of a week and I am ready for something good to happen.

Last Wednesday was only my second full payday since I started working again….It is nice to have money, but this week has wiped out even most of what I had already saved.

First, I go to Wilmington to pick up my youngest son who had gone down there for a few days hoping to get his truck back on the road.  I had already sent in my renewal for AAA (a road service) as I haven’t been able to afford it for 3 years and thought I may need this in the future…..I didn’t know how soon the future would be….

When my middle son and I got to Wilmington, the youngest wasn’t ready to leave yet, so my middle son and I went to their local Walmart and did a little shopping….things I needed and had put off buying for lack of funds….you know, simple things like razors to shave my hairy legs, etc.

On the way home, we had a flat tire on my car….Luckily I had one of those “Compact” spares in the car, a 4-way and a jack….and 2 able body sons to change it….When I got back home, I went to the local tire store to get a new tire….They wanted $68 for just the tire (that included mounting and balancing)….Not wanting to be totally broke, I decided to go to the local Auto salvage yard instead….There I got a practically new tire ON the rim for only $45.. Then I went home and put it on the car….

The next day, I received news that my Husband’s Aunt Helen had passed away.  She has had many illnesses over the years and had been in and out of nursing homes and hospitals for the past month….but this was a little unexpected as she went down hill very fast….She was 75. She was the youngest sibling, and the last living sibling in the family.  Of all of my husband’s aunts and uncles, I can say I knew her the best.  I have visited her home and am close to her Daughter, grand-daughter and Great-grand- daughter Emily whom you have seen photos of.

On Saturday, while at work, my cell phone fell from my pocket…..into the toilet!

Sunday, on Mother’s day….I went out as soon as the cell phone store and put the down payment on a new Smart phone. It took me from 11 a.m. until I went to work at 5 p.m. to figure out how to work the darn thing….and I’m still not sure of some things!

Monday was the Viewing for Aunt Helen.  Emily was there and within 5 seconds, she had figured out how to get to the camera on my phone and was taking photos and videos, scrolling through the photos and operating it like she had one of her own!!!  Did I mention she was only 2 years old???!

Tuesday was the funeral…..I had already told all the managers at work that I might be late going in because of the funeral, but I still called the 800 number and got Corporate permission to be late.  I told Joyce and Dawn that I would stop by the funeral home after the graveside service to pick up the flowers and photo collages I had made for them and take them to her home for the wake afterwards….

Almost hours late for work, I finally get back into town…..almost…..I have another flat tire on the other side!!  A man stops to help with the tire this time and lets the car fall off the jack on to the concrete drive where I had pulled off the road….but we get the compact spare back on….Only to have more problems before I get to work…Seams like now either an axle or the rotor is bent from the fall as it’s making one heck of a racket….But I get to work okay and no one is mad or upset at me….In fact, they are wondering why I called in after they already knew I would be late!

The next day, I was visiting with Barb and she insisted on loaning me the money for a new tire…..So I go back to the salvage yard and get the mate for the one I bought the week before…..and put it on in time to go to work again….(the racket is still there)

This morning is my Day off…..

My sister woke me up to tell me that last night MY Aunt Helen passed away!!  She had just turned 76 this year.  She had been in an Assisted living Center because she needed help remembering when to take medications, etc. She was the Youngest child in my Mother’s family.

my Aunt Shirley, Aunt Helen and my mother, Margaret. 

They say it comes in 3’s……I’m almost afraid of who will be next….

One thing I do know is this past week has been very challenging, and I am ready for it to be over…..

Is it Friday yet???

 

Hugs and love to all!

Staying Busy, Keeping up

So Wal*Mart is keeping me pretty busy…..

So far I have been getting between 27 and 30.5 hours a week…I can work as many as 33 and still remain part time…They usually don’t hire any full time people….Keeps from having to pay medical for them I guess….Although I guess if I really needed to, I could have it taken out of my check even if I am only part time.

I received my first full pay check last week….It’s so nice to have money even if over 2/3 of it went to buy groceries!  I am having them put so much into a savings account for me every week….which is the only way I have any money now…I filled the car up for the first time in a long time; and because I bought my groceries at the Giant Eagle, I saved $1 per gallon on the gas there….nice!!!  The good thing is, my husband got paid 2 days after I did so I can buy other things I need with cash without having to dip into my accounts…and Tomorrow is the 1st so I’ll have more money to spend then.  By the time I get done paying bills there won’t be much left anyway…maybe $75….which will last until next week when we get paid again.

I have less time to run errands for the lady across the street but I still do her shopping once a week and mow her yard for her as needed….Lately the weather has kept the grass from growing much and kept the yards damp from recent rains….I will mow it tomorrow whether or not she wants it done or not….it’s been 2 weeks! Our yard really needs it as it seams to grow wild sometimes.  The last time I mowed the lawns, I did our yard first and then went across the street to do her yard.  When I came home I found a baby possum in our garden. 

If he looks mad, it’s because we picked him up by the tail with gloves on to put him on the path back to his Mama….He got distracted because the yard next door has a gate he could get under, so we had to pick him up a second time….now I will say he could fit in the palm of your hand if you did decide to take your chances holding him.

Not much time for knitting or crocheting and my quilt pieces are crying out for attention.  My new sewing machine, while managing to be taken out of the box and set up has not even been threaded for the first time…I will want to buy a plastic case for it to keep it from collecting dust. 

I have a new project I just started.  I learned to make “Duct Tape Roses”

…I practiced with the gray tape I had, now I want to get more colors….Duct tape comes in lots of colors now! 

So now I have managed to catch you up on things….My hours are all over the place…I work anywhere from a 4 hour shift to a 9 hour shift (with lunch after about 4 hours).  I have gone to work as early as 6:30 a.m…..and left as late as 11 p.m….so there is no getting used to the hours.  My legs are sore, my back hurts….but so far I really enjoy the people I work with…..except when the CSM decides to wait to send me on my 15 minute break until 20 minutes before time for me to go home anyway!

The good news is, since I have been working, I have heard from my grand children more often.

More later….when things get slow again!

Hugs and Love to all!