Sheraven's Pigpen: June 2012

I’m tired of being the one everyone else depends on….

To do all the work

To do all the photographs

To go to when they need something

To being the “Bank of Mom” (or grandma whichever the case may be)

To do all the shopping or run all the errands

To be the “Taxi” driver

To be the one no thinks about to call or invite out

When will it be MY time??

When will I be the one that everyone wants around just to be around? To invite out to a dinner or movie? To ask if there is something they can do for me??? To get something back for all the times I have helped others when they needed it?

Without thinking twice, I have been the one to offer to help. I give money out like it was the air we breathe…free and never ending.

I am there with the camera to take all the photos….but I am never in any of them….

I have heard “I will pay you back” so many times….but never received it….yet I still give…

I have taken people to doctor’s appointments, friend’s homes, the store and the hospital…..but if I needed to go somewhere and didn’t have a way, I had to walk.

And I am the one always at home, alone…..No one to talk to….No one to comfort me when I cry for no reason…..No one to tell me I am important to them…..

The only time I hear words of encouragement are from people I have only met through WLS or Facebook….most of them I have never met in person, only through on-line chats….And yet, these are the people who tell me how much I am valued…..

I am Tired……..Tired of thinking that the only way I will be remembered is On-line…..

Hugs and Love to all my Dear friends….

the ones who always think of me…..

The ones who read this

June 3rd…..

Summer is just around the corner. The last days of school are here…..County and local fairs are a weekly occurrence now. Work is keeping me busy with at least 30 hours a week now…and sometimes even more…..

Tomorrow, I will have 30 days remaining of my 90 trial at Wal*Mart and I haven’t had a single problem arise yet….I like my job and the people I work with….I have seen several people be walked out including one that started the same day I did….She didn’t make it 30 days!

I have missed a few things I wanted to go to; The McArthur Wild Turkey Festival, The Oak Hill Festival of Flags, The New Straitsville Moonshine Festival, and the Lancaster Memorial Day Parade…I may be able to attend one day of the Logan Washboard Festival….and if I can find it, I may make it to the Stuebenville Ohio Frontier Days…..

Next Sunday, I have a special trip coming up….The photo club is going on a private tour of the “Wilds” in Zanesville….a privately run open setting of wild animals roaming free….That should be fun…Don’t worry….”Photography Club” means camera will be in tow and all batteries will be charged with extra memory cards in tow…..

I missed my grand-daughter’s graduation in Florida….Not because I wanted to but because she found out at the last minute that they were going to et her graduate; and of course, I was working….That and I really can’t afford any trips right now….never mind one over 855 miles away with gas at almost $4 a gallon….But I have started an account to save for one at a later date. Mean while, she sent me a photo of her first tattoo. (Before you say anything, I have one, too.) To both of us, they have our own meanings….

Her Tattoo is a symbol of her indecision and suspension between two lives.

Her graduation was bittersweet for her….First, she was graduating without her friends….She moved at the end of her Junior year, starting her Senior year among strangers. She lived and went to school here for 8 years. Instead of graduating in Blue with the rest of her close friends, she graduated in Green….in the evening of May 30th…Her friends graduated today at 2 p.m…..It rained at her graduation held outside; the sun shined and a gentle, sometimes strong wind prevailed today for Lancaster’s graduation….

Since I knew many of her class mates here, I decided to attend for her and take photos of some of her friends.

Stephanie (in the back ground) Victoria (also in background) Arianna (with sunglasses) and Shannon, a National Honors Society graduate with Honors

After the caps were thrown into the air,

the bedlam of finding individuals began….I could only find Arianna who was very willing to stand for an additional photo for her “bestie” who couldn’t be there.