Friday, December 31, 2010

Just my luck!

Well, the old year, 2010, ended for me the way my whole year has gone. 

My Grandson who came home from the Army on leave for the holidays has spent less than 10 minutes visiting me.  He didn’t come for Christmas, or for my birthday.  He hasn’t called me since his first day home almost 2 weeks ago.  He didn’t even text me or e-mail me for either Christmas or my birthday.

I received more holiday wishes and “Happy Birthday” messages from my internet friends than I did from my own family.

I took my son to the bank today meet my husband there so he could get his pay check cashed.  Because I “had the nerve” to ask him for money to pay for his dogs’ license tags, I got yelled out.  He screamed at me because I complain about no one helping me around the house.  He thinks I should enjoy washing dishes  that have been left with food to dry on them because they carry them to their rooms and don’t bring them to the sink.  Then I get yelled at because the one son who does always bring his dishes to the sink gets “special treatment”!!  (This son who gets “special treatment” is also the only person living in the house that thinks of me on every special occasion and always makes sure I have a present even if it’s only a handmade card.) It’s not enough that I let the son giving me the tongue lashing my car to drive to and from work, and down to visit his friend 90 miles away for 5 days at a time.  I mean, I pay for the gas and insurance, and had to buy a new tire this month after he returned the car with a flat tire.  (I bought a new set of tires in March and very rarely put 100 miles on my car in a month’s time when I alone drive it!)  But 2 hours later he was sure to suck up to me so I could give him a ride to work. (Did I mention that when he asked if I had plans for the weekend I was told I needed to find another way to Bingo because he wanted to use my car again???)

So I went to Bingo with my mother-in-law….just to get out of the house….

I figured, I had been 6 times this month, been close to winning more times than I can count, I had 6 chances in the end of the month drawing, 6 chances in the Birthday month drawing and chances at a door prize…..What could be the harm?? 

The doors opened at 4 p.m….we got there at 4:05.  The line was already out the door!!  It has never been this busy before!  The games didn’t even start until 6:30.  By 5:30, they were dragging chairs from everywhere, pulling tables out of offices and even brought in the cast iron benches from outside for people to sit!  Then they started asking if anyone had chairs in their cars!!!  People were sitting on camp chairs, buckets and even kneeling!  I am sure the Bingo hall reached it’s 600 people capacity!

We left around 9 p.m…..after 12 games of Bingo, at least 50 drawings for door prizes, end of the month and Bingo, I left with $30 less than I came in with…..and nothing else!  My bad luck continues….

When I got home, my son took my car to the store to get dog food.  Then he “borrowed’ my car to once again go visit his friend 90 miles away….where his truck sits  after it broke down in  November and they towed it there to “Fix”…..

But it’s a new year….2011

At 12:01 a.m. January 1st, 2011, my “Special treatment”  son brings his cell phone down to me.  On the other end of the line is my “borrower” son…..”Hey mom, as I was pulling off the exit, your car cut off and won’t start back up”…….

Well Hey! I don’t need a car!! I just take everyone everywhere they need to go!….Next weekend my one son needs to go to his Reserves….I can carry him on my back right??? It’s only 33 miles away!  And I am sure I can carry my mother-in-law to the store and then carry her and all the groceries home on my back!!  I can walk to the Wal-Mart  a mile away when it starts snowing again to pay bills! 

Did I mention I don’t have a job….no bank account….no free towing… way to pay to get my car fixed/or buy a new one…..

So if this is the way my “New Year” begins….I hate to see what it is going to look like….

but hey! One thing I can look forward to… least I don’t have to worry about losing any more money!  I’m not walking to Bingo!

It will be bad enough walking to the basketball games….since that is the only way I can see any of my grandchildren….even if I am not allowed to talk to them…..


Thursday, December 30, 2010

A Very Un-Happy Birthday to me

born: December 30, 1956
5:48 a.m.
8 lbs, 10 3/4 oz.

A Flat Clearing (Desert plain) 
  Gender: Female
  Origin: Hebrew
German, Warrior 

Numerological Report: Life Path Number is 9. A 9 Life Path will lead you to look at all with love, compassion and tolerance. You will explore the connection that exists between all the things in our universe. You will learn to let go of your own desires to serve the better good of all of us. In whatever field you choose, your endeavors will help heal the wounds life inflicts on those around you. It is your mission to make our world a gentler, kinder place for all of us. 

Chinese Astrology animal: Monkey. Monkeys crave fun, activity and stimulation. They truly know how to have a good time and can often be seen swinging from one group of friends to another, attracting a motley crew in the process. Always upbeat, they are considered minor celebrities in their circle thanks to their sparkling wit and that rapier-sharp mind. Perhaps surprisingly, Monkeys are also good listeners and tackle complicated situations with ease. 

Mayan sign is: Eagle
You prefer to be a free spirit, spending time alone and keeping distance from most people. You have an escapist side, and the creation of a fantasy -- an escape from society, or a personal journey within -- appeals to you on a deep level. Perhaps this is how you simulate the high, soaring flights of an eagle.

Astrological sign: Capricorn. element: Earth. ruling planets: Saturn.  Symbol: The Goat.  stone: Garnet.

Life Pursuit: To be proud of their achievements.

Vibration: Powerful resilient energy
Capricorn Secret Desire: to be admired by their family and friends and the world at large

Rising Sign is in 17 Degrees Sagittarius
You are known for being open, frank, outgoing and honest. At times, though, you are also blunt and quite indiscreet. Others have to learn not to take everything you say personally, because you usually do not mean any harm. You appreciate living your life in a straightforward and simple manner -- you dislike social niceties and consider them to be hindrances to real communication. You have lots and lots of energy and tend to become quite restless if you feel confined. You demand the freedom to do as you choose -- you must be self- directed or you feel trapped and anxious. With your abundant energy, you enjoy being outdoors, and you should be attracted to physical exercise or to those forms of sport which can help you burn off some of that excess energy. Very gregarious, you love to socialize -- your innate enthusiasm livens up any gathering.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

If I Can Dream

There must be lights burning brighter somewhere
Got to be birds flying higher in a sky more blue
If I can dream of a better land
Where all my brothers walk hand in hand
Tell me why, oh why, oh why can't my dream come true
Oh why
There must be peace and understanding sometime
Strong winds of promise that will blow away
the doubt and fear
If I can dream of a warmer sun
Where hope keeps shining on everyone
Tell me why, oh why, oh why won't that sun appear
We're lost in a cloud
With too much rain
We're trapped in a world
That's troubled with pain
But as long as a man
Has the strength to dream
He can redeem his soul and fly
Deep in my heart there's a tremblin' question
Still I am sure that the answer, answer's gonna come somehow
Out there in the dark, there's a beckoning candle, yeah
And while I can think, while I can talk
While I can stand, while I can walk
While I can dream, please let my dream
Come true......right now


Elvis Presley

My New Years Resolution


No, I don’t mean for you to stop. That’s my New Year’s Resolution….To stop.

Stop trying to make people like me. (and stop caring if they don’t) Either they do or they don’t. If they do like me, fine.  If they don’t like me, that’s their problem.

Stop worrying about if I will ever see the grandkids again….or when….They know where I live.  They have my cell phone number. If they want to see me or talk to me, they know how. One day, they will look back and wonder on what they have missed.  It can not be replaced once lost. And I will not make excuses for them.

Stop trying so hard to be happy….If I am meant to be happy, it will happen all on it’s own.

Stop trying to be part of a family who could careless if I exists. If they don’t want to contact me, or only contact me when they need something, I should just scratch them from my list of those I should care about. And that is something I will have to start doing more of….Caring about myself, my needs and my feelings above all those of anyone else.

Stop spending so much time with people who ignore me most of the year. I have tons of friends here and on Facebook who spend more “time” with me than people who are supposed to be family. My internet friends care more for me than anyone else and I don’t have to beg them. They are always here and always supportive.  They lift me up when I am down and make me smile when I really don’t feel like it. And I love them all for it.

Stop holding in my thoughts and feelings.  From now on, I will say what I want, when I want. I don’t mean to offend anyone, but why should I spend so much time alone in my room crying over things I can not change.

Stop spending what little money I have on others who don’t appreciate it.  I will spend more on myself and make myself happy.

STOP! Just stop.

I know there are those who have more meaningful resolutions for the new year.  I know my limitations. I know I will never be a “Super Model” with an hourglass figure, perfect skin, gorgeous hair and tons of money. I am going to work on just being me; flaws, misgivings and all.


The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.


Hugs and Love to all who read this!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Always the Photographer, never the photographed

Christmas is over.

Santa has delivered all his packages. They have all been ripped open and Christmas dinner is now resting around the waistlines.

Does anyone know how long it would take coal to make a diamond if I stuck it up someone’s tight rear end?

My son was admitted to the hospital in Florida on Christmas Eve where he remains today.  The have been testing him for several things and finally came up with a diagnosis of “Polymyostis”.  Polymyositis (pol-e-mi-o-SI-tis) is an uncommon connective tissue disease. It's a type of inflammatory myopathy, which is characterized by muscle inflammation and weakness. (I had to look it up on the internet myself!) From my understanding, although it cannot be cured, it can be treated with medications that lesson the symptoms.

I was expecting much this Christmas.  I’m glad. I would only have been disappointed otherwise.  I expected a visit from my grandson….he didn’t come over.  He’s been home for almost a week and I have seen him for no longer than a brief 10 minute stop last Thursday. I went to bed at 6 p.m. and slept restlessly until this morning.

I sent a text message on Christmas day to my son in Florida, the 2 grand-daughters and 4 of my grandsons who have cell phones…..I heard back from all but 2; the one grand-daughter who I pay her cell phone bill here, and 1 grandson in Virginia.  I was surprised to get a text from the grand-daughter in Virginia who I have not talked to in 8 years. (except for the rare occasion when she visited with her Dad in Florida.) 

I did get a few presents….my husband surprised me with a bracelet, my middle son gave me a portable CD player/radio and $20 on a Wal-mart gift card to save for my computer.  My mother-in-law gave me the most; a pair of footed pajamas, a “Chantilly” gift set and an insulated shirt.

My “dinner” on Christmas day consisted of 2 slices of peanut butter toast and a mug of hot chocolate…..actually…besides chips and dip, and a hand full of pretzel M&M’s, that’s all I ate Christmas day.

The in-laws all came down today for the “family dinner next door at my mother-in-law’s house.  I left my camera at home on purpose.  (Yes, I only live in the duplex next door…)  I have been knitting scarves since October 11th. I gave away 11 today as presents. I also cleaned out my closet of “Anchor Hocking” glassware….I gave away sets of bake ware, mixing bowls, storage bowls, casserole dishes and beer mugs.

And yes, I was asked to get my camera out…..

Christmas 2010 014 grandma(my mother-in-law) with grandchildrenChristmas 2010 020 Mother-in-law and Children

Christmas 2010 002 sister-in-law Glenna with her family

Christmas 2010 022 brother-in-law Mark with most of his children

Christmas 2010 027 Niece Heather with her family

Christmas 2010 034 Nephew Chad with his family

Christmas 2010 036 Nephew Terry Jr. with his family

No, I am not in any of the photos.  I sent each family home with a CD of all the photos. 

I know Christmas is not about getting presents.  It’s about the birth of Jesus.  Getting together with family is just one way of celebrating his birth. 

Just once, I wish I could enjoy a Christmas with my children and grandchildren……where someone thinks I am important to them.

My birthday is in4 days…and I will celebrate it the same way I did Christmas….alone, in my room watching TV and knitting…

Hugs and Love to all my friends.  I hope each and everyone of you have a joyous New Year.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Dear Santa,


It’s that time of year again.  Time for little children to tell you how good they have been and ask you for presents their parents can’t afford, can’t find in the stores or just don’t want their children having.  This year’s most popular toy is generally sold out by the time the children ask for it, anyway.

Not me.  I’m not going to lie, I have been a naughty girl this year.  Get over it!  I’m not going to change….much.  I say things that come into my mind without thinking.  I speak what’s on my mind….That will never change.  If I don’t like something, I’m not going to pretend I do.  So I have made a few people mad… Some people have cut me out of their lives, while I have had to cut others out of mine. Oh well!  I have to do what is right for me.  I’d rather be happy and alone, than to be surrounded by people who don’t care about other’s feelings.

I’m not kidding myself.  I know you can’t fit the new computer or flat screen TV that I would love to have down what is laughingly referred to as a chimney here. Besides, the fireplace has been blocked off because of the tree that fell on the chimney many years ago.  Neither will the new SUV I’d love to own.

I know you can’t bring world peace or end hunger. Or cure cancer.  Or prevent people from shooting other people, or robbing them or rape…..

I know you can’t give me the winning Lottery numbers….or help me win at Bingo….You can’t bring me “bags” full of money for me to spend however I want.

I know you can’t bring back my precious “Burrito”….my little mini-pin who ran away 18 months ago.  Or give me a small puppy like her to fill the hole in my heart.

So what would I like to have more than anything this year??  I would love to be able to see my grandchildren whenever I want….I would love to just hear their voices on the phone or even arguing in the living room.

I do believe in you, Santa Claus.  I believe in the reason for the season…..The birth of a little baby who was born, only to die on a cross for us.  Christmas is my favorite time of the year.  I love the decorations, the snow, the songs song by carolers, the candlelight church services….

But I miss those precious grandchildren.

So if you can’t “fix” this for Christmas, maybe by my birthday….You know when it is….

I look forward to your visit.  Pet the reindeer for me….

Love always,






I used to look forward to Saturdays during the summer and fall….Football!  Now there’s a game I understand!  I can watch football all day. Especially when my grandsons are playing. But that season is over for this year except for on TV.

Now it’s “winter sports”.  That means Basketball….I don’t understand this game.  No, I get some of the calls… “Double dribble” is when you use both hands to bounce the ball.  “Traveling” is when you move more than one foot while holding on to the ball.  “Charging” is when you deliberately run into someone…..But I don’t know the referee signals for some of the other things and to me it’s just running up and down, back and forth and a lot of nonsense about some show off trying to make shots they just aren’t capable of while trying to impress someone.

Now if it were wrestling, I’d understand….Take downs, pins, break-outs….I can watch wrestling.  I think it’s because when you see football and wrestling, it involves more physical contact.  I heard through the grapevine that my grandson was contemplating quitting Basketball and doing wrestling again this year instead.  Fine by me!  I enjoy that more.

Don’t get me wrong!  I support my grandchildren in whatever they do.  I go to their games, matches or meets and take photos of them.  I just can’t stomach more than 2 basketball games a day….It just bores me to death.  Especially when you have 1 kid who thinks he’s “Michael Jordan, Shaq, and the The Harlem Globe Trotters” all rolled into one.  If the kid wants to be a star all unto himself, maybe he should play golf…or maybe tennis….But when it’s a team sport, if he can’t play as a team, maybe he deserves to sit the bench.  Harlem_GlobeTrotters

So I have at least 2 games to watch today because of my grandson, and a friend’s son on another team….If I don’t fall asleep or die of boredom, I will be back later.

:Love and Hugs to all my wonderful friends…..


(is it over yet????)


Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Don’t get around much anymore part 2

I have been thinking about all my friends here.  I haven’t been getting on the computer as much (not even on the “Dark side” i.e. Facebook!).  I have been hibernating in my room, bundled under the covers, watching TV and knitting.. I have been trying to keep my hands busy so my mind doesn’t wander to the sad side of my life….not being allowed any contact with the grandchildren that have been such a big part of my life.  I get a phone call once in awhile from my oldest grandson.  My grand-daughter will text me once in awhile. She sent me a picture text of her gingerbread house she had to make for her “Culinary Arts” class. Racheals Gingerbread house
I go to the youngest grandson’s basketball games and watch from afar….But I don’t get to talk to the my daughter’s youngest 3.  I miss them.
Stallions Dex 4 021
I have been knitting up a storm.  I have completed 9 scarves and have 6 more on needles to finish.  My mother-in-law decided she could knit scarves, too so she bought a circular needle, had me start the scarf and she was going to complete it….After half a row, she couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Had she dropped a stitch?? She was planning on knitting scarves for my sister and brother-in-laws (6 scarves total).  She handed the needle and yarn over to me, and it’s now my task to complete her presents to them….She really hadn’t dropped a stitch.  What she had done was started purling when she should have been knitting…..So now my work load has doubled. It takes me about 2 days to finish one if I work at it.  I now have enough yarn to knit through the winter!
Then my husbands Aunt called and asked if I could take some photographs of her great grand-daughter.  They had pictures done at one of the stores previously and it cost them over $200!  I told her I would charge her $25 for the sitting fee and make her a CD.  Then if she wanted prints, I’d make a 4 x 6 proof of the better shots and she could pick and choose which prints and sizes and I would just charge her for what it cost to make them.  My mother-in-law and I went to their country home yesterday with a few props we had come up with; bears, dogs, some blankets and table cloths for backdrops and a box wrapped in Christmas paper.  We set up a white Christmas tree she had in the basement and decorated it on their heated sun porch….The prints were very pretty…It’s so easy when you have a cute subject.  And I have found that most children photograph better when they are in familiar surroundings. Today I went to Wal-Mart to make the proof album, a sample Christmas card and a CD for them.  I was paid $50 so far….a little extra in my pocket. (She has a sober look! )
Emily 2010 019 Emily 2010 023 Emily 2010 046 Emily 2010 027  Emily 2010 059
I have been to Bingo now twice this month.  They had a special where if you went on Friday, you could get a special 4 pack on Tuesday for less than what it cost me on Friday!  So my mother-in-law and decided to go together  since I had made money on my photography. I have been so close to winning more times than I can keep track of; but so far, all I have won was a door prize (a plastic container of caramel cremes….now all gone) and 2 “Critter Cash” coupons for $10 each off my next packet…so I can play Friday for $5.  They are having special sessions on Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve with tons of prizes.  The week after Christmas, I get $5 off my pack for my birthday, and if I go Christmas Eve, I’ll get $10 off on the next Tuesday! (or the special pack and $5 off). If I don’t win before the first of the year, I may not go as often as I have been….I don’t have the money to spend (or should I say waste!) but it does get me out of the house….I am becoming a hermit. I only go out to do my monthly errands; pay bills, buy some food, fill up the gas tank….Buy a new tire for my car since my son borrowed it and got a flat!
I put my tree up, and over half of the pre-strung lights were out, so I haven’t even decorated it yet.  It started snowing here December 1st but didn’t stick the first day because it had rained all the day before. It has snowed every day since….Mostly flurries. We have a light coating of the white stuff….The grass still shows through, the roads are clear.
Dec 8th 002
Just enough that the dogs and my outdoor cat doesn’t stay out for long.Dec 8th 003Smokey, wondering why I woke him up. 
My animals have been a great comfort. My mischief cat, Satan has found a new place to sit and lay.
Dec 8th 001 And he has a new hobby….chasing and catching mice in the cabinet under my sink where they manage to wiggle their way in around the pipes.  My husband found one of Satan’s new “toys” in the bath tub.  When he went to go get something to get it out, Satan had moved it under the kitchen table! He’d usually sleep under the tree, but the table is a little wobbly and I have put ornaments there until I get them on the tree with his favorite ornaments, the bells!
But I wanted all of you to know that I’m still here.  I miss all of you and I’m so glad you are my friends.
Hugs and Love to all!  Happy Holidays!  Be safe!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Don’t get Around much anymore…

Don’t worry….I’m still around….I just don’t get on the computer as much as I used to.
As I mentioned in previous blogs, I have been knitting up a storm!  I have 6 scarves I am working on at the same time.  If I get tired of one color, I switch.  I try to work a little on each color every day.
My Grandson now calls me from his current Army school in North Carolina.  He is allowed to use his phone on the weekends and Wednesdays.  This week, because of the Thanksgiving Holiday, He got his phone on Wednesday and was able to keep it through the weekend.  It’s nice to hear his voice.  He is now allowed to have a computer or TV so I am going to be sending a flat screen TV/Monitor to him.  When he comes on Christmas break, He can purchase a cheap desktop computer and just take what he needs back.  He bought himself a new X-Box 360 and some games and accessories, which he will also take back if his mother doesn’t send them to him.
Today is the first day of my other 2 grandsons Basketball games.  At least through the winter I will have something to look forward to on Saturdays. I will be taking lots of pictures again this year and hopefully will get some nice ones with my new camera.
For thanksgiving, we went to my Niece and Nephews home in Butler, Ohio. (Just outside of Knox County where news was made recently by a young man who kidnapped 2 women and 2 children, killed the women and one of the children and the family dog and stuffed them in a hollow tree after he dismembered them!)  It was supposed to be for “All” the family, but it ended up being myself, one son, my husband, my mother-in-law, my nephew, his wife and 2 girls, and his mother (my sister-in-law). It was very nice even with the rain that stuck around all day…Quiet! When we finally returned home, my mother-in-law wanted to pick up some yarn from one of the stores, where people had already started to congregate for the sale the next day! For us, it was a short trip.  She also picked up a wireless adaptor to get on line using my wireless network.  I picked up a few grocery items I needed. I think all of us were in bed by 9 p.m.!!!
Did any of you brave the crowds on “Black Friday” looking for those special deals??  I avoid going shopping that day if I can help it, at least until after the noon hour!  My husband works at Target and had to be there at 4 a.m. on Friday.  He said when he got to the store around 3:30, the line stretched halfway down the strip mall to the T. J. Maxx store!  My theory is, if I want something and I go at noon to get it and it isn’t there, I wasn’t meant to have it.  I had a few errands to run Friday, so my mother-in-law and I ventured out around noon.  I wanted to see if Wal-Mart still had any of their 4GB memory cards left for $8.  My past experience has told me that some of the items stick around for a long time, and if you wait, you can get them.  I found plenty of the cards left and also picked up a 4GB flash drive for the same price. My mother-in-law had her eye on a 6qt. crock pot at J.C.Penny’s for $9. (her last one got a short in it while cooking this month).  The had plenty left. )It was actually $19 with a $10 mail in rebate).  We made a stop at Hobby Lobby to check out their Knitting needles.  My Mother-in-law bought a round needle to learn to make scarves from me.  She can cast on, knit and purl….it’s just the getting started she’s not sure of.
My next stop was to pay my cell phone bill….at least the past due amount!  Then it was off to K-Mart to see if they had a cheap bundle of CDRs. That was a quick in and out as they had none on sale.  While near a grocery store, I went in to get some BBQ sauce for a package of wings in my freezer and we both played the lottery.
Two more stops….Big Lots, where I found a 50 pack of CDRs for $8 and bought some spice drops.  I wish I had seen the $18.88 Cam-Corder they had on special, as I would have purchased one to put into my camera case.  But alas they were all gone….oh well, next time!  Our final stop was Jo-Ann Fabrics. More yarn, more knitting accessories…They had a 50% coupon and I couldn’t resist get something!
So now, I’m caught up.  I am waiting for this evening to see the basketball game.  This year should be exciting as the coach from last year has been replaced for this year.  Hopefully, this coach will know more than the one last year and the team will come together as one instead of the “I” factor that ruled last year’s team.
So for now, Hugs and Love to all my wonderful friends reading! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
See you in the funny pages!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Can you get calluses from Knitting?

Well, I now have been knitting for about a month.
I have completed 6 scarves, worked on a hat (that I really need to take apart and use a smaller needle for as I could hide  my dog in the “small” sixe!) and still have not made a big dent in my large box of yarn….Of course it doesn’t help that when I showed a scarf to my mother-in-law, she gave me more yarn!  Now I have bought more needles, and the yarn box has doubled in size.  I spent several hours un-tangling some partial skeins that were given to me.
scarves part 2 002
I have a few ideas for some of the scarf color schemes.  The one my mother-in-law wants is pastel pink, lavender and yellow.  I have enough of those colors to make another one exactly like it…Here’s a warning for all those thinking about doing such a project…I have 3 brands of yarn; Caron, Red Heart and Bernat….all 3 have a different shade of the “Lavender”…one is actually “Lilac”, one very slight difference in color….I remember years ago I was working with a purple yarn….I ran out and did not take a sample of the yarn I needed to the store when I was buying more.  Long story short, before it was over, I had about 10 different shades of purple!
I have several skeins of variegated yarn which I will work as their own scarf…No need to change colors, just knit until it’s long enough…One is a variegated red/white/blue which I have decided to use as the middle of a scarf with the individual colors flanking it.  There are some odd colors…like a sage green and this weird shade of brown which I decided would we nice worked together as a man’s scarf.
Plus I have pastel green, baby blue and white I will work into a scarf…And of course my “Harry Potter” house scarves….
I have pretty much learned one thing, I don’t like the smaller needles and baby and sport yarn are a real pain to work with at my speed….It just frustrates me to work slow enough to make them look nice.
I have  pattern for a baby blanket that I want to try…It’s kind of a lace pattern that I have never done….I may wait for the snow to fall to work on that. (which according to our weather man may come as early as next weekend!)
In the meantime, My grandson has graduated from Basic Training and was on a bus the very next day for his next school in North Carolina.  He called me on his cell phone and we talked for quite a long time…It was nice to hear his voice. I really miss him. My daughter took her 2 younger boys to his graduation and sent this cell phone photo to my grand-daughter, who sent  it to me.
Next Saturday, Basketball begins. And I will be out with my camera taking pictures of my grandsons again.  I was disappointed to learn that the younger one will not be wrestling this year.  His mother is too proud to ask me to help with taking over some of the practice schedule.  She still isn’t talking to me, but I have learned to let that go.
My son has my car for a few days.  He went to spend some time with his best friend and his god-daughter 2 weeks ago.  While down there, his truck broke down and he spent all his money replacing head gaskets to get it running.  Just 30 miles out on his 90 mile ride home, the truck began knocking.  He called me and I suggested he limp on the shoulder to the next exit, which just happened to be a truck stop.  He went in and asked if he could leave his truck there until this weekend.  I drove the hour trip one way to get him in time for him to go to work that day.  His friend and him are going to tow it back to his house today and see if they can figure out if this is a major repair or something simple. No word yet on that.
I have been spending most of my time in my room….watching Christmas movies and knitting. It keeps me occupied and gets me in the spirit of the season.
To all my wonderful friends, Hugs and much love! Thanks for reading and for being there to listen!

Friday, November 12, 2010

It’s nice to feel appreciated…

Tonight was the football banquet and I was a little apprehensive.  My Grandchildren haven’t spoke to me in over a month and I was not sure what would happen.  I had  a busy day…playing “rush around town”.  I had to add money to my card for my car insurance payment, buy something to make to take to the Banquet and finish a photo project I was making for the assistant coaches.  My mother-in-law rode along so she could make a copy of a Veteran photo I had and buy some Thanksgiving cards. 

While waiting for the “Useless lump” to get home from work with the money, I made a new book on line of the Veterans in my family…Somewhere I have a poem I want to add to it, and some photos of flags I took at various things over the years that would make a great cover photo.  So it’s not quite done.

I made Tuna casserole and while it was cooking, I ran back to the store to pick up some one hour prints I had made.  I got back just in time to take my mother-in-law to Bingo on my way to the Banquet.  Thank goodness I had thought far enough ahead to put everything I was taking right by the door! 

I was a little early for the banquet, but I had brought along some knitting as I knew that later I would be waiting for the Bingo to end to give my mother-in-law a ride home. 

I had been up in the air about whether I should give my grandson the book, as I have in past years, even though he wasn’t talking to me. Part of me wanted to hear him ask for it and speak first.  But the grandmother in me said I should give it to him without any stipulations….and that is exactly what I did.  As soon as I saw him, I gave it to him and said “Happy Birthday”….followed by a snide “Thank-you grandma, I love you grandma”….which he repeated.  It was a hit with him and all the other football players he showed it to, and I was proud of my decision.

As you know, I took photos all season long of the football team.  Every year one of the coaches makes a DVD of photos he compiles….This year, I provided all but 10 of the photos he used…Talk about a big hit! Everyone loved the photos and the video! You should have heard the kids when they saw their own picture or some of the plays….the tackles, the runs, the expressions….And I was secretly proud of being a big part of it. 

Much to my surprise, The head coach called me up and thanked me for helping with “all the Little things” he doesn’t like to mess with. He handed me a card and inside the card was $20.  I also got $10 from the Team Mom for all the help….And another coach gave me a laminated copy of the article about our girl football player.  I didn’t do any of it for the money….But the recognition sure made me smile….

Perhaps my best recognition came when many of the parents went up to the coach and asked for copies of the DVD and the book….My daughter had told some of the parents that I was the one who made the book…..So in her own way, she may have even been a little proud of me.  I politely walked away when she began giving the coach her phone number, as I know she doesn’t want me to have it……

Even my grand-daughter spoke to me….As I type now, I have tears of happiness in my eyes…I love them all and maybe in time, I will once again be a part of their lives.

Hugs and Love to all my wonderful friends!!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I’ve been so quite….

Nothing against any of my wonderful friends, but I have not been on-line much lately. I get on for an hour or two a day to check e-mail or play one or two games; but basically I have been busy doing other things.

With football now a thing in the past until next July, I have been looking for other things to keep me busy. I started knitting scarves the last week or so of football before Halloween as the weather had gotten pretty cool in the evenings.  As a matter of fact, we had record breaking cold temperatures!  I knitted a scarf for me and one for a coach; and then decided I would just keep on knitting scarves….I have 2 patterns inspired by the “Harry Potter” movies that I follow. I thought if I could get some “house” scarves done before the release of the next movie on November 19th that I might be able to make a little extra money.

Then my mother in law asked if I had any patterns for baby afghans, as she had several skeins of baby yarn she wanted to get rid of.  So I found a pattern I want to at least try.  Generally, I can follow simple patterns with no problem….I have no idea how to do complicated cable knits or fancy stitches.  As a matter of fact, the only other thing I ever knitted was mittens…Because that is what I originally learned how to knit….Compared to mittens, scarves are easy!  I found a favorite site “The leaky Cauldron” that has a variety of “Harry Potter” inspired crafts to knit or crochet.  I doubt I will try socks, but I am going to try some hats and arm warmers…And I have a pattern for leg warmers.  My mother in law gave me several books mostly of crochet patterns, and there are some things I may try to do like doilies and even a skirt.

One day I was going to go buy more yarn as I wanted some different colors and I had to buy a new circular knitting needle.  My mother in law stopped me and gave me several pairs of regular (straight) knitting needles as well a a fairly large box of odds and ends yarn she had….

November 8 004

Some were full skeins but most were partial skeins. I have plenty to keep me busy at least for awhile.  My son wanted a scarf with the light and dark blue so I decided I would try that on a smaller circular needle.  The scarf won’t be as wide as the “Harry Potter” scarves and hopefully I will have enough of the two colors to complete it without having to go out and try to match the colors. 

An ex-sister in law saw a photo of the 2 I completed for myself and asked for one in her favorite Team colors; blue, yellow and white.  So I started a third scarf….Now this may seem a little hectic to some, but I now have 3 scarves going at once!  Every day I knit about 40 rows of each scarf…and sometimes even more.  My sister in law’s scarf is almost complete.

Now with all this knitting going on, one may wonder if I have time for anything else.  The answer is yes I do…Yesterday I spent about 2 hours gardening.  I cut back my mother in law’s Hostas that she has beside her side of the duplex…a project she had started but just didn’t have the energy to finish…It took me less than 20 minutes with a good pair of pruners.

250px-Hosta33 Hostas

Then I looked into the backyard and decided to do some fall cleaning and pruning there, too.  We have a variety of flowering plants including Day Lilies,  roses and various bulbs.  I had already dug up the wonderful marigolds that bloomed all summer, and my husband helped with our “volunteer” cherry tomato plants that mixed with the morning glories on the rear fence…I pruned some of the dead branches from the roses, dug up a wild ground cover that had taken over most of the garden, cut the lilies down to encourage new growth in the spring and even planted a few dozen more bulbs. I cut down several Tree sprouts that had invaded from the neighbor’s yard and trimmed back their wild growing Japanese tree that the owners planted practically in our yard along the fence….It’s wild, ugly and uncontrollable!  

Lately, my mother in law and I have been sharing the cooking duties.  One day, she made a huge pot of vegetable soup.  She took out what she could eat and gave the rest to us.  Yesterday, she gave me some polish sausage she had in the freezer and some cabbage to fix for dinner.  I added cubed potatoes  and put it all in the crock pot…When done, I took a bowl over to her.  Today, she brought over a bag of frozen vegetables for me to fix to go along with the steak and gravy she has in the oven.  It worked out great for all of us as we never have to worry about leftovers or making too much.  I take her to the store and she has been known to pay me back with some of the “Buy 1 Get 1” offers she comes across.  Last weekend, I made a meatloaf and took her over a healthy slice….

My best buy this week was a 20 pound turkey…for $2.80!  Whenever possible, I use coupons or special buys.  The turkey was a special buy with an additional $10 purchase…(Who goes to the store and doesn’t spend $10??  I even have coupons for the craft and fabric stores….40% of any one item, 10% off entire purchase….

So I haven’t forgotten my friends.  And I am not trying to ignore anyone….I am just trying to keep my mind and my hands busy to keep from missing my grandchildren.  Tomorrow is the Football banquet.  I have to make a dish, finish a project for the assistant coaches (A photo collage), and give the book I created on-line to my grandson…(a birthday present I have made for him for the past 4 years)….even though he has not talked to me in over 1 month.  I was shocked when I finished the book one day, paid for it the next and received an e-mail confirming it was completed and shipped the same day!!  I hope he likes it.

Love and Hugs to all my wonderful friends!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

If Idle hands are the Devil’s workshop…

Then I must be in Heaven…..
In 2 weeks time, I have:
Created and Painted 3 Football Banners
Attended 8 Football games
Knitted 3 scarves
Created 3 hard back photo books on-line
Printed over 50 pictures
Played umpteen  Facebook games
Given 1 haircut
Played 1 night of Bingo (Note; I did not win!)
Written 6 letters to my grandson
I also have ran my own errands as well as taken my mother in law to do her errands, ran my husband to the Flea market and my son to the mall, as well as shopping, picking up pictures from the photographer and many other things too numerous to name.
Needless to say, I have kept myself busy.  Not only does the knitting keep my hands and my mind busy, but I hope to be able to sell the scarves for  little extra income.  My son had found a pattern on-line several (about 6 or 8) years ago for knitting “Harry Potter” scarves.  The first Pattern he found me was the “Chamber of secrets'’ pattern; basically two tones worked in alternate rows of 20 each color knitted in the round  until there are 11 of one color and 9 of the other….With fringe, these scarves measure over 72” in length (1.28 meters) .  Lots of length and width to wrap around your head and neck with plenty of tail to tuck in to coats or jackets….and warm!
Then when the“Prisoner of Azkaban” came out, the patter changed to what is know as the ‘trapped bar’ pattern….27 rows of the darker color, 3 rows light, 5 rows dark, 3 rows light continued on until you end with 27 rows of dark….fringe on both ends….
November4 003 I made these for football using 3 colors for the first.
The main problem I had with knitting is I had to find the right size circular needle.  I have one I have used many, many times.  I never knew what size it was as it was given to me and there was no packaging or marking….The problem is, I have used my needle to knit so many of the scarves over time that mine poor needle was beginning to show it’s age.  One I used was totally plastic and began to fray.  The most recent one had aluminum needles with plastic cording….and one end kept coming off dropping stitches.  No problem , right? You just go to the local fabric or crafts store and find one the same size….Three stores later, after purchasing one and having to return to the store to replace one the wrong size, I now have a new Bamboo circular needle….size 8- 24” long…..This time, I slipped the older needle into the package and put the whole thing in my kitting bag.
I made one scarf for the coach of one of the youth football league teams in his team colors….yellow and red.  The team who won the championship was one we had been with 7 or 8 years ago and the Head coach of that team actually has 2 scarves I made for him…one in team colors and one in all white…I have picked up more yarn to create at least 3 more scarves in team and “Harry Potter” colors (with the new movie coming out) .  Payday, I will get more yarn, extra needles and I have a patter for matching mittens and hats….which I will need needles in 2 smaller sizes…..if I can find them.  I may have to order them on-line.
Today I got a nice surprise.  I had not heard from my grandson in over a month and I knew he was busy.  I was hoping that was the reason I had not heard from him.  I didn’t think his mother would be able to turn him against me but you never know.  Spite and Hatred are evil things and they make people do stupid things.
When I went to the mailbox today, I had a letter from my grandson.  He told me how busy he had been in the field with different artillery, PT and classes.  He went on to tell me the next 2 weeks were going to seam boring compared to the past month.  He graduates from Basic training on November 19th…
Cody Basic Training 001 .
I couldn’t stop smiling….especially when I found his picture in the bottom of the envelope…He told me he has order other prints and a book to show me when he gets home.  I can’t wait for his Christmas leave….I really miss him.
Hugs and Love to all!

Sunday, October 31, 2010


Football is over…..That is the games have concluded for the season…And now I am sad.  No more seeing my grandsons play football until next July.  Maybe by then they will be talking to me again.  They still won’t even look at me.  The Football Banquet is  November 12th and I will go to that no matter what.

Vikings vs Cherry Street Playoff 049 the older grandson in 3 point stance

Vikings vs Cherry Street Playoff 132 The youngest grandson carrying the ball

Last night was the play-off games.  As usual, I made the banner for the team to run through.  My mind must be off because for some reason, I thought the game was at 6….I left my house at 20 minutes till 5 and got their just in time.  The game started at 5!  I was rushing around doing things and didn’t get to take a photo of the finished banner.  The good thing is, there is a man from a local company who takes photos of some of the games.  He got a shot of most of the banner….The only thing is he has a web  business and charges $2.99 for a 4 x 6 photo reprint!  (I am in the wrong business because I have some of the same shots he does and I have been giving them to the parents!) We won third place with a score of 20 to 6…All the players and cheerleaders received medals for the win.  The Cheer coach came up to me after the game and thanked me for all my help with the 6 or 7 banners I have made for the team….and she gave me a medal! Some one appreciates me!

medal 004 medal 002

I talked with several parents and I will probably sit with them during the banquet.  The girl player, (“George”) had an interview with a news paper reporter on Thursday and was front page news today.  She had told us that she talked to a coach of the Junior High team about playing next year.  He told her she could join the team but she would sit the bench.  This is how the coaches wanted to advertise that she is one fantastic player and maybe, the junior High coach will acknowledge her talent by seeing it in the paper. The photographer even had a web album dedicated to just her.  She worked hard for the past 2 years and even played this year with a bruised sternum that she received during one game.

So my next step will be to keep checking both the Biddy Basketball and Youth Wrestling sites for their schedules and rosters.  I have been told that both grandsons will play Basketball for the South Elementary Stallions, and I have also heard that the youngest will also wrestle again this year.  My daughter may be able to stop me from talking to them, but she can’t prevent me from going to public games and matches.

For now, that will have to be enough for me.  Watching them grow both as young men and in talent from the sideline….and taking my best friend, my Camera to keep my memories….

Hugs and Love to all my friends reading this!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The party is almost over…..

So sad....
only 2 more football games. Wednesday our team plays the second play-off game.  Then on Saturday, will be the finals.  I will miss football as it is the only place I get to see my grandsons, even if they aren't talking to me. The weather today cancelled our last practice. Then it will be Basketball and Wrestling. I have friends who will keep me in contact with the various teams so I can at least go to games and matches. And I will take my best friend..."Raven" camera....
Thursday is officially "Beggars Night"....Halloween to most people is celebrated on the 31st, but in Ohio it's "Beggars Night" during the week...between 6 and 7:30 so it isn't even dark when the children go out in their costumes...I won't get to see my grandchildren dressed up.
Still haven't heard from my oldest grandson. The Army is keeping him busy I guess.  I still hope to go to his graduation, but the closer it gets to that date, the more I worry I won't be able to go after all....
But I am staying busy here in my hermit shell.....knitting, computer and catching up on sleep.....

Life goes on….and I must go on too.  Hopefully one day soon I can look back at this time in my life as a bad memory.  And create new happier memories..

Hugs and Love to all my true friends…

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Football Play-offs; Oh What a day!

So….the regular season is finally over and play-off for the championship has begun.  It is what our coaches call the “Second Season”.  Now it doesn’t matter how many games you won or how many games you lost.  If your head is in the game, and your heart wants it badly enough, you can bring home the trophy. 
The day began with our team’s game.  In the regular season we placed 4th. There were 3 teams with the same win/loss record so the place was decided on who won against who…The other two teams both beat us once, but we beat the third place team once.  Their win against us was by more  31 points so in order to finish above them our win would have had to be more than 32 points over them….But, alas was not. So the way the play-offs start; the 1st place team plays the last place team, the second place team plays the next to last, the third place team plays the team in 6th place and the 4th place team plays the 5th place team.
We always make a big thing of the  first play-off game. A couple of years ago when I still worked and had money, I bought a flag from the Minnesota Vikings website and a Viking costume at Halloween from a local party store. The first year, one of the father’s volunteered to wear it. Last year, I wore it.  During a practice last week, I was asked if I still have the costume and flag.  I do, but because this year anything I take to the field I have to carry on my own, I haven’t been bringing everything.  One of the father’s said if the costume fit him, He would wear it this year. So I brought it to the next practice.
Vikings vs Charger Playoff 289
October is also Breast Cancer Awareness month.  Some of the players on some of the teams have shown their support by wearing pink duct tape.  We have a girl on our team….She decided to go all out for the game.  She is a 6th grader and this is her last year to play youth sports so she is ready to win the Championship Trophy.
Vikings vs Charger Playoff 287
I don’t know what they fed her the night before, but her mom tells me her and her brother were up at 7:30 a.m., outside warming up and wanted to be at the field at 8! (The game wasn’t until 10!)  She had 12 tackles in the game and recovered a fumble by the other team….I think we should have her wear the pink for the last 2 games…
It was an exiting game all the way around.  The players were pumped up, the parents were pumped up and the coaches were pumped up.  We won the game 28 to 0….The other team had to take “the walk of shame”….that’s when the losing teams have to turn in their equipment.  All players are told to make sure they bring extra clothes the first day of play-offs, as any team that does lose goes home….minus their helmets, shoulder pads and pants pads…
The next 2 games were no surprise. Both the second place team and the first place team won their games…The surprise came when the third place team played the 6th place team….Now the third place team has had a year filled with drama. One of their players had a weight issue before the season started, made weight for the first game, but refused to weigh in after the 5th game….Their team was “beating up” on every team they played up until then accumulating over 30 points against every team they beat…We were the first team to even score against them.  This player also has an anger management problem.  In the past he has been suspended for games and usually had at least 1 ”Un-sportsmanlike Conduct” call per game. He has made a habit of punching, hitting, pinching and making obscene gestures to members of the opposing team all season.  After the game where we beat them and he received a penalty for “Late hit out of bounds” where he ran one of our players into a bench (the other boy used to be his best friend), he was suspended for the remainder of the season.  His coach/father and head Coach were both fired for encouraging bad sportsmanship. He was at the game protesting…
Play-off Saturday 043
This was just enough to fire up the 6th place team.  They came ready to play. The score didn’t get very high, but it got high enough….In the end, the 6th place team sent the 3rd place team home by a score of 8 to 6…..just 2 points….but the field almost broke into a riot as members from all the other teams who stayed to watch broke into a cheer….
Karma will get you in the end….
Next step….On Wednesday, our team will play the 1st place team at 6 and the other 2 teams play at 7:30.  The 2 winner will play for the championship game on Saturday at the High School; and the two losers will play for 3rd and 4th place.  This is the first time this has ever been done.  All the boys and our girl are pumped up and excited about playing on the “Big” field.  And as was proven this past week….anything can happen!
Good luck to all of them but most of all to my favorite team…..The Vikings!
Hugs and Love to all my friends reading! 

Friday, October 22, 2010

Blog, Blog, Blog…..

Okay…it has been several days since I have written anything.  I have made lots of changes and so far I have been doing very good. I did return to football practices and talking with my many friends there.  It sure brightened my spirit.  It’s nice to know that a few people can’t spoil it for others.  No word from any of my grandchildren; my cell phone has been almost deadly silent but I am managing to make the most of everything. I hope I will get a letter from the oldest grandson soon, but I know the Army is keeping him busy.
I made the banner for Saturdays game, and I started knitting a spirit scarf in team colors.  It’s hard to be upset and knit at the same time, so it really helps to occupy my hands and my mind at the same time. I will go watch all 4 games on Saturday and take pictures of at least 3 of the games for friends.  I am working on a photo album for the coach of our team, gathering photos for the team video for the banquet and I will also work on a book for my middle grandson’s last youth football league year….although since I can’t talk to him and he can’t talk to me, I will save it for the apology I get when he does start talking to me again….I’ve decided since I did nothing wrong, I at least deserve that much.
Thanks to my mother-in-law, my laundry is done.  She washed, dried and folded 2 loads of my clothes and now is working on my husband’s clothes. She has nothing to do this week and volunteered to do them for us….which saves us from going to the laundry mat…and since she just lives in the duplex next door, we only have to walk out the door to get them. I want my own washer and dryer, but we only have room for maybe a stackable set. I’ll add that to my “When I win the Lottery” list. (LOL!)
Yesterday at practice they had what they refer to as “Senior Hit Day”.  It is when the 6th grade boys who are currently playing their last year of youth football get to choose 1 coach on the team to “Tackle”….Don’t worry, they use a tackling dummy….otherwise I think some of the coaches may have ended up on their behinds!.  My Grandson chose the coach who originally chose him in the draft over 4 years ago.  In a way, I felt it was some kind of a show of respect. The poor coach is suffering from a torn meniscus in one knee, so he used that knee to block the pad. The head coach received 3 hits! Which is unusual as he very rarely gets any! And the girl on our team chose the newest of our coaches.  One of the 6th graders was not at practice, so I am sure he will get his chance next week.
So as for now, I am once again in good spirits.  I have decided I am not going to worry myself sick over something I have no control over.  I have my memories to keep me warm….and the hope that someday, things will start to look brighter for me and will go back to the way they were….Some things will never be the same as some of the damage done can never be repaired…Some Relationships will never be re-kindled, and others will be strained…
But to all my friends out there, and you know who you are; Thanks for always being there with your kind and uplifting words.  I love you all!
Hugs and Love to everyone reading!       

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Another step towards change.

The other night, I did some “house cleaning”.

I went through all of my e-mail accounts and deleted people who I don’t know, or who I have not heard from in ages and never get e-mails from.  I also deleted family members who no longer talk to me, or I don’t talk to them or want nothing to do with me.  Then I made all my e-mail accounts private.

I also had 2 “My Space” pages with photo albums and blogs, and more contacts I really don’t know. I deleted both of them completely. Then, I created a new personal e-mail account that I will only give to those deserving of my friendship/relationship…and created a new “My Space”.  I sent e-mails to several of the contacts I had there that I do want to keep in contact with…(oops! Just remember someone I forgot to add!)

My thought process goes like this: Everyone knows where I live.  Most of my friends and family have my telephone number, e-mail accounts and facebook page. If it is someone who really cares about me, they will contact me.  If they don’t, it’s their loss not mine and I should not be bothered by people who only use me. I am tired of being a taxi, delivery service, “loan” company, supply company and messenger service.  Family only calls me when they need a ride, need me to pick something up, need to borrow money, need me to make something or need something they know I always have around or want me to “get a message” to someone. Don’t get me wrong! I like to be needed and to be helpful! But there has way to much giving and not enough getting in return.

I am tired of being the one taking the pictures, and not being in the pictures.

So my vow is to change.  I am going to learn how to say no, even if I feel guilty at first. I know after a few times of saying no, some people will not ask again. And that’s okay, too! I am not saying I will quit helping all together, but there will be a new me in town. I need to be happy if I am going to survive this hermit life I am living. 

From Now on, it’s all about me!

Thanks to all my friends on the internet who have stuck with me through my ups and downs. A big HUG to each of you! Thanks for your kind encouraging words, your uplifting thoughts and your prayers. I truly love you all.  My one wish is someday we could all meet and actually exchange those hugs!

Hugs and Love to all!


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Changing my calendar

I have been having one of those months….and it’s not even over yet!

I have officially decided that I am deleting October from my Calendar next year. Between people who use me, and the people who abuse me, my emotions just can’t take another month like this.  And Yet, I know that my favorite month of the year, December, will be worse still! Why?? You may ask….Because this year, I will have nothing to look forward to Christmas day. Yes, I know this is only the middle of October, but with the situation with my daughter only escalating this past week, I will not be able to have any time with at least 3 really important people to me….3 of my grandchildren.  And I will not attend any family functions with my husband’s family. This would only remind me of what I have lost. My oldest grandson will get leave from the Army for about 2 weeks and I can look forward to seeing him for at least a couple of days.  The only people who would remember my birthday would be 1 son….my middle son; and maybe my oldest son along with all of my dear internet friends. But there won’t be any presents.

It won’t depress me much because I have decided that I can’t cry over this anymore.  From now on, I will go on and live my life alone if I have to.  I can decorate like I love to do, listen to my favorite Christmas Carols, address and send Christmas cards, and attend the Christmas Eve Candlelight service at the local church. I will plan and make Christmas dinner for my shrinking family and try to pretend it doesn’t hurt that my daughter has decided she no longer has any family besides her children.

I won’t hope for a reconciliation…I won’t wait for a knock at the door or the phone to ring. I hope it snows chin deep to a giraffe!

Do you think people would think I have lost it if I start decorating for Christmas the first of November??

But in the meantime, I did get out a Halloween costume….


What do you think? pip 005