What do I do now??

Football is definitely over now….The Championship games were last Saturday along with the Cheer Expedition.  Only thing left now  is the Banquet for our team and no telling when that will be.  The Fund Raisers we used this year were flops….and we had 3 of them!  One was at a local restaurant; an all day affair where we earned a whopping 10% of the proceeds if people took a flyer with them (we made $50!).  The other 2 we sold discount cards….one was for a pizza place…the cards cost $20  of which we kept $5…The other was a drive-thru where we sold the cards for $5 a piece all profit… I think it was a combination of lack of spirit this year and a “Who cares anyway?” attitude that started on the field and continued ….

So I have put away all the spirit wear, and the camera feels neglected sitting in it’s case alone in the corner.  I have nothing to take pictures of until something interesting….like snow….happens.  Fall came and went in less than a week.  The temperatures dipped and the leaves all changed color and fell from the trees so fast it would make your head spin. 

I did get a few pictures from the football field….when things were slow I’d look around for anything to shoot. Even in these you can see that some of the trees are already bare.

My phone and in boxes remain silent… I haven’t heard from my grand children in weeks now.  I am beginning to give up on any contact with them at all….I have a birthday card to send this month, but I don’t think I will add the usual letter inside.  It’s plain to see they don’t want to hear from me…I doubt they even read them….just rip open the envelopes to get the money and throw everything else in the garbage.

I haven’t decided what to do about Christmas.  I don’t really have the extra money to send much to them as I have to pay for my Car license tags renewal and my Driver’s license renewal in December.  And they don’t even let me know when they get the things I do send.  Usually I love Christmas…..this year, I don’t think I will bother with the decorating….and I know I don’t want to go to any of “his” family functions.  I am always the “Fifth wheel” and only there for the food and to take pictures of people who could care less if I was even there….So even if it is next door like last year, I will stay home.  I can make my own dinner and enjoy it more at home. 

I have talked to several different insurance companies and I am considering purchasing life insurance for myself.  I don’t want to be a burden to my 2 sons who do live at home when that time comes…and I want to make sure the ones who care the most for me are taken care of when I am gone….Morbid, I know….but my husband could care less what I would do with him if he passes first….I have considered donating his body to anyone who will take it!….(Like a medical school or such) He has no insurance and has no interest in getting any…and quite frankly, because he drinks and smokes, I can’t afford his insurance.

I look forward to the snow…..White and pristine….the cold biting my nose…..At least I will have something to take pictures of…..

And look forward to the spring and it’s early blooms….

Hugs and Love to all!!

It’s Over

Another chapter has been written.

Another story told.

The end has come and it was not your storybook “Happily Ever After”.

Football season for the Miller Park Vikings came to a close Saturday in a sad ending…..The play-off game against the Maher Raiders, our “arch” rivals, ended in a 26-0 loss.  There was no consoling the 15 sixth graders and the 3 year boys….Tears flowed freely…

 It also brings to a close another chapter. The last year for the Miller Park Vikings as such…Next year, they will be known as the “Miller Park Mayhem”.

The first play-off game, 8 teams play.  Four teams that win go on to play on Wednesday.  Four teams take “The Walk of Shame” to the shelter house to turn in their helmets and shoulder pads.  It always seams like a long walk for the boys….There is no running….no pushing or shoving….Heads hang low and tears cover their faces and in some cases cause their “Eye Black” make-up to run.

  

No amount of kind words about next season being a whole new beginning will help. For teams went home; The Lanreco Hurricanes, The Glasco Patriots, The Hocking Chargers and the Miller Park Vikings.

They fought hard.  Some games were held to respectable scores….not allowing the other team to lose by much….After one team was ahead by 2 or 3 touchdowns, they would pull out their first string boys and allow the younger players in the game to maintain the score and give the other team a little chance of scoring….

One game really disturbed me….The Glasco Patriots are a new team.  They are young, and small….During the 10 game regular season, they never won a game.  They only scored 20 points all season. They placed last in the league and therefore had to play the first place team, the Cherry Street Chiefs…..The Chiefs beat them 36-0…..Highest scoring game all day….and the Chiefs never took out their biggest boys…..There was no sense in this.

I don’t know when the Banquet will be… The fund raisers this year that the team did were not very profitable… I talked to the coach and told him I would like to bring my son who helped with the banners…He said he would call me.

The coaches and families hung around long after the game was over…talking about the future.  I have already been asked to come back next year to take the photos…and I will….

What else do I have to look forward to?

Hugs and Love to all!

 

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Some people Infuriate me!

I am writing this blog in red for a reason…..Right now I am sadden and really pissed off about something that happened in Ohio this week….We made National and International news with this event and it was for all the wrong reasons….

A man who owned a 73 acre farm wit 56 Exotic Animals decided to commit suicide…..

Before he did, he released the animals from their cages and then shot himself….and was surrounded by chicken carcasses which he used to feed the animals.

This was the result of his careless thinking and actions:

The county sheriffs had to shoot and kill 47 beautiful animals that were allowed to escape their cages onto a farm surrounded by smooth livestock wire, and to run loose in a community of 25,000 people…..(one more was hit by a car on the interstate, and a monkey was killed by one of the large cats)

These animals included: 

Six black bears

two grizzly bears

nine male lions

eight lionesses

one baboon

three mountain lions

18 tigers

and two wolves

Now fortunately, 6 animals were rescued and taken to the Columbus Zoo where they were put into isolation and observed….one young grizzly bear, three leopards (one a black leopard) and two Celebes macaques (a breed of monkey)

 

First they were fed and allowed to just recover from what must have been a traumatic experience.  The whereabouts of one animal, a monkey is unknown; but since 1 monkey was killed by one of the large “cats”, they are assuming the remaining monkey may have been eaten.

It is not known why exactly that the man decided to release the animals before he shot himself, or why he resorted to this action at all.  Some say it was because he was getting a divorce and others because the cost and caring for these animals may have become too much of a financial burden.

The killed animals were buried on the property at the recommendation of Jack Hanna, the director emeritus of the Columbus zoo.

"I'm sorry for what happened to these animals. But also for what could have happened to people. Let's hope this never has to happen again in any state. This is a tragedy for the animal world. It could have been a bigger tragedy for the human world," Hanna said.  Veterinarians were at the scene and if it was possible to tranquilize any of the loose animals without harming human life, but the animals were released close to dusk on a rainy day, and one animal who had been tranquilized then charged at the vet and had to be put down…..They were probably hungry, and scared and just trying to seek shelter from the weather….But they were WILD animals.

Someone attempted to steal the carcass of one of the big cats Tuesday night.

Ohio has some of the nation's weakest restrictions on exotic pets and among the highest number of injuries and deaths caused by them. In 2010, an animal caretaker was killed by a bear at a property in Cleveland.

On Wednesday, the Humane Society of the United States criticized Gov. John Kasich for allowing a statewide ban on the buying and selling of exotic pets to expire in April. The organization urged the state to immediately issue emergency restrictions.

My thoughts are that if this man loved these animals, why did he not contact the Columbus Zoo or “The Wilds”, a conservation center in Zanesville, and turn these animals over to an authority that would know how to handle them better BEFORE he released them and took his own life….

If you would like to read more about this, here is the link:

http://www2.nbc4i.com/news/2011/oct/19/35/49-animals-killed-hanna-calls-it-tragedy-animal-wo-ar-794094/

Can you imagine how these sheriffs must feel about having to kill these wonderful animals?  They have to go home and think of this every night and perhaps answer to young children who will not understand. Although they did what was right for the safety of humans, they are all sadden by having to kill these animals….

The autopsy on this man confirmed he had commited suicide and then was bitten by one of the larger cats, perhaps even dragged, within seconds after him shooting himself.

Rest in peace lovely animals…..May this never happen again…..

Hugs and Love to all!

Reset

I have often wondered if what we do in our daily lives, effects what we dream about at night.

If we have an argument with someone during the day, do we dream about them at night?

If we watch a show about killing or death, do we dream of someone dying or killing us when we sleep?

If we go to bed after looking at pictures of loved ones near and passed away, do they come to visit us at night in our dreams?

If so, then I need to change the things I do during the day…..I need to watch more “Happily ever After” movies, spend my evening going though old photo albums of the happy times in my life and stop worry about what the future holds.

I often think about what will happen to us when my mother-in-law passes away.  I worry that because she has told everyone that her house is to be sold and the proceeds split among the 4 children that we will be in our 70’s out on the street looking for affordable housing.   My mother-in-law is 81, my husband is 60….she has 4 children; 3 that own their own homes and my husband who barely gets by on the $1400 he brings in every month.  This is an older home that has not been cared for in the best way.  The wiring is old, the windows don’t hold back the cold temperatures and the heating system and plumbing is outdated.  Several houses on this street in the past couple of years have remained on the market for years, and then ended up at auction….selling for under $40,000 a piece…..Now that is barely a drop in the bucket, (a mere $10,000 a piece) towards a place to live.  If put away in a fund of some sort, I imagine we could use it to pay rent on someplace for awhile….but with the average rent going at $700 a month, that would only last a little over a year. Maybe it would make a down payment on a mobile home….or an affordable home.  But who wants to sell to an “elderly couple???

My mother also has said her home is to be sold and the proceeds split among her 6 children.  She is 89….Her home is in better condition and in a better, more desirable location .  Her home is valued over the $200,000 mark and would give us much more, I am sure.  But still in the back of my mind I am thinking; for those of us that don’t own our place, will the sale of the property give us enough to live on??  One brother has come into money several times, and still at 50 lives at home with Mom.

Maybe this is why I go to sleep dreaming of owning my own home.  Beautiful places with big yards, gardens and big rooms…Warm houses with fireplaces, updated appliances and garden bath tubs….Master suites with their own bathrooms and seating areas….Room for all the grandchildren to come and stay with me….

I go to bed looking at photos of the children and grandchildren I haven’t seen in months, or in some cases, years…..and I wake up crying over the dreams of them living without me there to hold them.  I see them growing up without me there to hug and kiss them.  I feel the emptiness of the hole they left in my heart when they moved away.

I go to bed after a day at football where parents argue about which team is better than the rest…. who they can beat and who they can’t…… who has lost, who has won, and who is the better sportsman……and I dream about young girls, cheerleaders, who make snide remarks to adults….

An argument with a spouse or a son, turns into a dream about death….

Movies turn into loved ones long passed away coming to visit or talking to me, giving me advice.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could control our dreams….  Dream only of pleasant things and wake up with a smile on our face and joy in our hearts every day??   Where walking through the woods is just that, not running from someone out to hurt us…..walking on the beach without dreaming of drowning…..Where our loved ones gather around us in peaceful homes and yards, where children laugh and play, and hugs and kisses abound…..Where Love Conquers all….and abides….

I need to change the way I live every day…..and live each day without remembering the past and fearing the future.

And maybe, JUST maybe, my dreams will all be pleasant ones and sleep will be a welcome thing.

Hugs and Love to all!!

The changing of the season

Fall has definitely has arrived.

For the past week or so, it has been cool and dreary….Last Wednesday, we finished our game in a light rain…Then Saturday, we started our game in a light rain….Evenings have been cool, cloudy and have done nothing to improve my mood.

For about the past month, I have gradually been burning out on football…..I miss watching my own grand children play: and watching other parents and grandparents enjoy their children and grand children playing just makes me miss mine more.  Being a part of their old team this year has filled only a small part of the hole they left in my heart…..there is a void there that nothing has been able to fill.
But soon football will be over…..The last regular game of our season here is this Saturday…then they will begin Play-offs. This year our team is really in a slump…We went from a team winning most of their games, to a team only winning a couple of games….I hear parents coaches and team members say how much they miss my youngest grandson….that if he was here, they would be winning.
Perhaps if they would call me, write a letter, leave a message on my Face Book. or even just text me I would feel better….But I don’t hear from them……
I did get a phone call from my oldest grandson last week when he checked his cell phone and found  he had missed a text from me.  I learned that my grand-daughter can only use her phone certain times of the day.  I found out my youngest grandson was at his first game….and the next day, I learned he had been the “star” player in their 30-0 win over the team they had played scoring all the extra points and most of the yardage..and I asked my son to allow him to call me sometime, so the next thing I knew I was talking to the youngest…..his voice is changing and I hardly recognized it.  Although he loves playing football, he is not happy with the team he plays for….for him, it is just not the same either.  I told him good luck, get some touchdowns for me, and if he could, get his mother to post some pictures of him playing and tag them so I could see him playing.
My youngest grandson had his second game Monday….and by checking his facebook page, I was able to see him in his uniform on the field.
 
The scoreboard during the 3rd quarter:

 I am hoping to talk to him again soon….I would like to know how many of those points he himself made….
I am on foot again, as my car has a brake line problem.  Unlike my youngest son who isn’t afraid of driving it, I am….I can’t afford an accident.  I walk to the store, to football and anywhere else I need to go if I can’t get a ride with my mother-in-law; who has borrowed a car for her use.  But if I just need to get out and do something, I walk.  I walked 2 miles to the phone store to pay my phone/internet bill…..I walked to the new “Roses” store and “Aldi’s “for food…..I walked to the screen printers to pick up a shirt I had ordered….My knee doesn’t like the exercise….or the weather.
Last Friday, I went to Bingo with her.  She won 2 instant games for $599 each, and once during the Flashboard game for another $300.  She probably spent close to half of that….if I had won nearly $1500, I would have come home with no less than $1400….As it is, i split one jackpot with 3 other players (that gave me $25 of the 40 I had spent back!).  During the game I realized why it seemed I had so much money left over….I had forgotten that my Shih-Tzu had a vet appointment on Monday and I was supposed to keep $55 aside!   My memory gets worse every day….My mother-in-law gave me $100 of her winnings; and Monday she took me to the store to get some meats and to the vet….
If it wasn’t for my 2 little dogs, I think I would be depressed all the time….but when they look up at me or demand my attention, it’s hard not to smile.

The fair starts next weekend.  I won’t have money to go until the last 2 days of it….I’ll hear the tractor pull and demolition derbys….and hear the concerts.   I’ll smell the foods and watch endless streams of people trying to take up every available parking spot on our one way street; not caring if the residents have a place to park in front of their own homes….But I will have to wait to wander over and check out this year’s crafts and displays…..
And what do I have to look forward to???? 
Halloween, with no grandchildren

Thanksgiving with no grandchildren

              Christmas…..with no grandchildren

Another Birthday and a new year…..

And snow…..I love snow….but it’s just not the same without my grandchildren around to watch building snowmen, sledding down the hills at the park…..or snuggling together in the bed with……and this year, I won’t be going to basketball games or wrestling matches…..

I doubt I will even get an invitation to my Grand-daughter’s graduation in June….

But I will wait and hope…….

Hugs and Love to all my friends