It’s been so long since I published a new blog and there is so much I can think of to write about….
I could write that I love my new job….I love the people I work for and with, I love the hours I’m getting and most of all I love finally being able to have my own money to spend on things I want.
I could write how excited I am that football starts next Monday. All year long I wait the arrival of the Conditioning; because that means practices and games are just around the corner and I will have a reason to push back from the computer and go outside with my camera. This year, by volunteering a mere 25 hours a season, I can get a $250 contribution to the team from my employer.
I could write about the severe thunderstorm that came through here June 29th and knocked out everyone’s power for up to 0 days. Mine was only out for 7, but you can’t imagine what a techie like me missed without power….the computer, Facebook, my on-line friends and just being able to upload the photos I took from my camera to the computer.
I will write abut all those things soon, I promise. But another subject has been weighing on my mind.
Over 2 years ago, my daughter stopped talking to me. At first I could see and talk to my grandchildren, but things got worse a few months later and the only ones I could see were the older 2….Then came the revolution….The middle grandson threw a royal fit because he didn’t believe it was fair that the older 2 could see and talk to me and he couldn’t…..He feels as I do…an disagreement between me and my daughter should not effect the relationship between me and the grandchildren.
Eventually, right before they moved to Florida, I was able to have all the grandchildren come and spend time with me….
Then they moved away.
I can’t tell you how many times I have cried since then. I truly miss them so much.
My daughter’s birthday is July 27th. Last year I made a special effort to go out, buy her a card, express my feelings for her and even sent text messages to her phone along with sending the card…My hope was that she would at least acknowledge them…..My grandson sent me messages reminding me of her birthday and I told him what I had done. I even sent a second message so he could read it and know I was trying to mend things…
This year, I am torn between sending her a card and just giving up on the relationship we once had. She has developed a relationship with the father who was never there her whole life….never paid a dime of child support, never changed her diaper as a baby , wiped a tear or kissed a “boo-boo”…..And for the longest time didn’t even know her birthday or who her mother was!!! He never knew the grandchildren’s birthdays, never sent a card or a present, never attended a game , practice or school event…..or graduation.
I’m starting to think all my effort to mend things isn’t doing any good and I have been slow taking her hint….She doesn’t need me or want me in her life….So should I just give up and go on with my life without my only daughter??
The problem is,what will my grandchildren think of me if I do give up//….Already they have had less and less contact with me….I know they are growing so fast and have lives of their own…They are busy with work and school and sports….Have they also outgrown me?? Am I now only a source of money for all the things they want but my daughter can’t afford??
I need advice….Should I send the card as I always have with a note saying I miss you can’t we still be friends? or should I just give up and give her time to miss me and hope one day she will???
I don’t know…..
Hugs and Love to all!!!