I have been having one of those months….and it’s not even over yet!
I have officially decided that I am deleting October from my Calendar next year. Between people who use me, and the people who abuse me, my emotions just can’t take another month like this. And Yet, I know that my favorite month of the year, December, will be worse still! Why?? You may ask….Because this year, I will have nothing to look forward to Christmas day. Yes, I know this is only the middle of October, but with the situation with my daughter only escalating this past week, I will not be able to have any time with at least 3 really important people to me….3 of my grandchildren. And I will not attend any family functions with my husband’s family. This would only remind me of what I have lost. My oldest grandson will get leave from the Army for about 2 weeks and I can look forward to seeing him for at least a couple of days. The only people who would remember my birthday would be 1 son….my middle son; and maybe my oldest son along with all of my dear internet friends. But there won’t be any presents.
It won’t depress me much because I have decided that I can’t cry over this anymore. From now on, I will go on and live my life alone if I have to. I can decorate like I love to do, listen to my favorite Christmas Carols, address and send Christmas cards, and attend the Christmas Eve Candlelight service at the local church. I will plan and make Christmas dinner for my shrinking family and try to pretend it doesn’t hurt that my daughter has decided she no longer has any family besides her children.
I won’t hope for a reconciliation…I won’t wait for a knock at the door or the phone to ring. I hope it snows chin deep to a giraffe!
Do you think people would think I have lost it if I start decorating for Christmas the first of November??
But in the meantime, I did get out a Halloween costume….