Dreams should last forever.

“This could be our last goodnight together
We may never pass this way again
Just let me enjoy 'till its over
Or forever
Please don't tell me how the story ends
See the way our shadows come together
Softer than your fingers on my skin
Someday this may be all
That we'll remember
Of each other
Please don't tell me how the story ends
Never's just the echo of forever
Lonesome as the love that might have been
Just let me go on loving and believing
'Till it's over”

Those are the words from a Ronnie Milsap song from my past.  But they echo in my head today.

I have been going to bed pretty early since the grandchildren have moved away.  There just doesn’t seem to be any reason to stay awake anymore.  There is no one to talk to, no one to care for, no visitors to entertain….Rather than let the sadness overcome me, I go to bed to sleep, to dream.

The other day I found myself wishing I could go to sleep and dream forever, never to awaken again. There would be no one to miss me, no one who would care if I was gone.

But I sleep and dream.

The dream I had was a wonderful dream.  My grandchildren were with me again.  I could feel the touch of their hands. I could smell their hair, the very scent of them near me.  I could feel their warm arms around me, hear the sounds their voices, see their smiles, hear their laughter… I wanted the dream to go on forever.  I didn’t want to ever wake up.

But alas; it was only a dream.  I awoke with a smile only to turn over and find the emptiness in my bed. The reality set in only too quickly. 

I went to the computer to check my e-mail, and my Facebook.  But the only words I read were harsh words from my grand-daughter because her phone was turned off.  After having to pay for a moving truck and a storage shed, I had to cut back on the amount I paid on the phones; and the company refuses to work with me.  So until I can come up with the money, the service is suspended.  I feel bad enough as it is.  I realize that as a teenager, the cell phone is her only contact with her friends here.  But as I learned later, she does have internet service and can use skype to contact them.

I wish I had enough money that I didn’t have to live week to week. I wish I had money saved away in a bank account somewhere….I wish I could buy them everything their hearts desired.

But money doesn’t buy love. 

Although it seems in some instances, lack of money is a reason to with hold love.

“To sleep: perchance to dream”

Hugs and Love to all my dear friends who lift me up when the sadness overcomes me.